Cults and boobies.

I was in this hallmark store, or something similar that sold kitchy gifts. I was looking at this rack of lego displays, legos that were studded with diamonds and were arranged as the characters of different movies. Erin was there too. There was this mother and her spoiled-brat son on one side of the store. The boy came up to me and kicked me, so I smacked him. Then it changed and I was in our dorm room and the boy was there because I was babysitting him. I was very annoyed. I had to keep him out of my closet, and Erin was laughing at my attempts. The mother came back and admonished me for smacking him, and I was like "He totally deserved it!"
The dream changed, the mother and son were still there, but the son was older and not as bratty, and Erin had changed into Meredith. We were in a different house altogether. I looked out and saw a village and wanted to go check it out, but the woman and her son told me no, the people who went there never came back. I went outside anyway. The house was in this very VERY green field, and the village was down the hill. It looked like the plans for Eagle Village, all square brick buildings and this large glass tunnel overhead from one side of the place to the other. I followed Meredith over to this one house that seemed very out-of-place. It looked like it belonged in Old Town Ellicott City. I looked inside, and was met by this fat woman in a fancy dress that looked like it belonged in a western, except it was gray and boring. My shirt was bright yellow. The woman welcomed me to this house, which was home to a cult of some sort. Right inside the door was a staircase that looked like the ones in Pollard/Melchers. The rules were: No running, no loud speaking, no loud coughing, no swearing, no girls speaking to boys, and girls were not allowed to read. There was a crowd behind us of people that lived in this house.
I turned to look at Meredith and yelled "FUCK THIS STUPIDITY." and ran down the stairs coughing very loudly. The fat woman was outraged and said told her minions to find us, but Meredith it turned out knew this building like the back of her hand, because it was Melchers, and we were able to get outside without being caught. We ran across a street and down a hill (it actually looked like the side-exit of Jepson, but without the trees and a lot greener) before we realized we were being chased by ninjas. They were saying "You cannot run! No one can leave lest they reveal our secrets!"
Then I woke up, determined to remember this dream. I typed some keywords into my phone, decided 7:30 was too early, and went back to sleep.
I had a dream that I was looking for a pad of paper to write this dream down. I was in room 108, and I walked through the bathroom to our room, but instead of our usual furnishings it was completely bare, except for a large fireplace directly to the left of the bathroom door. On the mantle was a pad and pen, the pad my mother bought me at the Louvre and a bright blue gel pen. I began writing down my dream, but my back started to hurt, and my breasts started getting really heavy. I decided it was the pajama shirt, so I took it off completely and prayed that Erin didn't enter with me completely topless and braless.
Then I woke up at 8:30, luckily I still remembered both dreams.

Baby monkeys.

My father and I were on a bus/train/airplane/thing with a bunch of incoming freshmen and officials from my school. Meredith was there, but a few seats away. We were discussing move-out, and I was explaining that I couldn't take all of my possessions on the train, we had to go back in a car and get my piano, refrigerator, and printer. This infuriated my father.
Then we started watching a movie, it looked like film of a battle fought by baby monkeys. This was somehow informational about the school. My dad was like "So did you know that about Mary Wash?" I didn't, and neither did Meredith. I blew my nose. Some old guy came through the aisles and told me to throw away my trash in the garbage can at my feet.
There was more on the topic of the school. Which then became a summer camp that I had applied for a job at. And then Meredith and I had to save a baby monkey from certain death. And then my alarm rang.

Erin had a FAR more interesting dream, and you should ask her about it.

Rachael Lubitz and I were in some kind of boarding school, it had two hallways, it was old and everything was made of shiny wood. We had some kind of raygun thing, we tried it out and found we had the ability to see through walls. We snuck over to the other hallway, the one that housed the boys, and we zapped a hole in a wall so we could look at the shirtless boys. Then we got caught. We ran outside to speak to my mother. We needed to get Rachael a security clearance. We got in a truck, it was like a pickup truck but it had 3 beds stacked on top of each other. Then I had to go to the bathroom, and I ran back inside the school building, but there were stacks of printer paper and phonebooks on top of the toilets, which made me wake up and use the bathroom.
Fall back asleep, I'm in a cafeteria with Meredith and Erin. The next week is "spirit week" or some kind of associated week with sports and stuff. I talk about this one guy who won basketball championships. Erin starts teasing me about liking a guy, but Meredith says "How could he have won anything, the contests are next week." I blush and think "Oh geez, I was wrong then, sorry." As punishment for such a transgression, all three of us have to put on a play. We're at a fair, and I'm eating cotton candy, which was stolen from me. We reach the stage, which is really small and inside a TV but it's still a stage. On it right now are the Andrew sisters who sing Johnney Fedora and Alice Bluebonnet. Meredith is laughing, my mother asks "What, have you seen that before?" Meredith starts to tell her that I had shown it to her but I poke her and she says "Yeah, I found it online."
There's something having to do with evil sisters and finding something, but I can't remember it.

Bees. *sigh*

I noticed a post from Cobes on GITP, so I decided to ask him why he'd disappeared for so long. After several failed IMs and PMs, I found him in Seacobeck, computing. His computer started playing "Stille Nacht" from the Toten Hosen album. There was a bit of something about Lord Voldemort, and how Hermione should just cast Fiendfyre right next to the guy so that he caught on fire and died a little on the inside.
It was Christmas day, and I found myself in charge of a world-wide sing along. I had a video camera and a loudspeaker, and I was standing on the edge of North America. People were no longer the size of people, the land masses were much smaller. Airplanes could see crowds of people on the edges of the continents, all crowded around the Atlantic ocean. I was yelling, and everyone else was cheering.
I decided, if the Atlantic Ocean was this small, I should just hop over to Eltville and check it out. So I did. But it looked more metropolitan than I'd remembered. I landed on the banks of the Rhine river, and recognized where I was immediately. It was this little fenced in swamp area, that never was in the Eltville I knew, but I recognized it and tried to find my way to my house accordingly. I couldn't. I saw the big sign for Goolrick's Pharmacy from downtown F-burg, except it was in German. I passed little old ladies that seemed to recognize me and were like "You're the one who was in charge of the shouting, right?" I found my father and Mr. Ballard inside an apartment building. They confirmed that we were in Eltville. My father found it strange that I couldn't find my way around, and even more strange that I got here without a plane. I was like "Did you SEE how big the Atlantic is these days?" and he said "Of course, I was there." "Well, I was in charge of that thing!" I washed my hands, and commented to Mr. Ballard that it seems like just yesterday was Christmas and I was receiving my QY-100.

How very odd.

I was in this grassy area, filled with cars, and it was raining paper notes. There was a radio playing through a loudspeaker, saying ridiculous things like "Robert Downey Junior has caused the suicide of Matt Lauer after Hugh Jackman refused to play Wolverine on the Daily Show." I picked up some of the paper, it had an address on it. I went to the place, which looked like a small elementary school. The inside of the building was covered in blue padding, sort of like gymnastic pads. I went into this large gymnasium with some tables in it, where a man in white told me to put on my pajamas and go to bed. I did. I was already wearing my striped top, because of my sunburn, but I couldn't find any pants. I went back the way I came, except instead of the padded blue halls it was suddenly white, looking kind of like a dorm hallway except almost antiseptically clean. I poked my head into every room. Each one had people in it, older than me, having sex. Some offered to include me, but I declined. One of the rooms mocked me mercilessly after I said no, which sent me back to the gymnasium, pantsless. The man in white told me that I needed to get a jewel from this girl. Sort of reminded me of Flushed Away, even in the dream. I exited the building from the back, and saw this expanse of grass with white pillars sticking out of it, like a graveyard, except I found out later that they were the ruins of a civilization. There were jaguars prowling among the columns, one of them stopped to look at me. I saw a man and a woman walking in the field as well, but I didn't stop to talk. I went past that area, and I found what I was looking for. The girl had bought a lighthouse with the jewel, where she was housing all of her family. Again, Flushed Away. I went into the lighthouse, sat at the bar and demanded the jewel. She explained that she couldn't give it up, because she and her family were a resistance against the robots. I was like "What robots?" and she took me upstairs. There was a room with the same blue padding as the other building, and a similar table, and a different man in white, but this man was the girl's father. He was dismantling a round flying robot, that looked rather like the torturebot from Episode 4. He told me that there were dozens of them, and other kinds of robots, buzzing around and controlling the population, and that the source of them was the school that I had left. I noticed a pile of paper blowing out of his window. He handed me a sheet and told me to go to the field of pillars and talk to the guy there.
I went back and begged for the jewel once more, but the girl said "No! Can't you see I need it?!" and I left. As I left I read the paper the father had given me, and suddenly everything went sepiatone. I went to the field to talk to the guy, but was accosted by the flying robots. They laughed about the civilization they had destroyed (the white pillars) but then a jaguar attacked them and they stopped hovering.
Then I woke up and OW my sunburn.

We were at the mall, searching for a halter bra for me. I went to the arcade, changed a $20 for a $10, a $5 and 5 $1s, and got some coins to play DDR. Meanwhile my friends who were looking for a halter bra got caught by some evil. I had to identify a child molester from a choice of two people, one looked like House and the other was this big blond muscular guy. So I had them blow bubbles, and the child recognized the blond one as the guy who hurt her. WHAT?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

There is a beach outside of the Randolph back door instead of a hill, and for some reason Erin decided we should recruit Matt to help us carry 10-gallon tanks of seawater into our dorm. As we do this, we discuss music. Specifically, we discuss Ben Folds. Matt has never heard of him, OF COURSE, and doesn't understand how someone that old could get away with playing to a college crowd. I explain that he's a very good showman.
Then I'm in the car with my parents, trying to find a party of people, we're supposed to go on a tour. We get completely lost and have to call a family member. After driving along some mountains and through some fields (it looked a little like SWVA) we reach the rest of our party members.
We get into one of those touristy street cars that are supposed to look old, and we're driving around twisty roads on mountains and stuff. All of my family from last night is there, and so are Meredith and Mary Katy. The man driving the street car (it's being driven like a bus) is also our tour guide. We pass this city that is absolutely huge, I'd say coruscant huge but we're looking at it from a mountain. One part of the city, the closest part to us, is invisible behind a white and smoky fog. Suddenly I'm in the room with Echo at the dollhouse, actually still Caroline, being interviewed by Dewitt for a job as a doll. Caroline is smoking (very out-of-character for her hippiness) and asks "So where are we? Where is this cloud city?" Dewitt replies that it's impossible to find the dollhouse because the part of the city it is in is inside a cloud of fog, every building is a secret business and it is impossible to navigate.
I'm back in the street car, on the same ridge, still driving along. Conway leans over and says "You'll really like this next part, here's the song we're going to sing." Did I mention that the tour was a sing-along? We're given a creepy Scottish song, because the next part of the tour is very scary. A tunnel of trees and shadows. This freaks Meredith and MK out because of the Doctor Who episode they watched. I tell them to stop and they miraculously do. We start singing the Mob Song from Beauty and the Beast (which I now have in my head, since I must wake up with a song in my head.) My parents say "Shush, we have to sing this song now."
We're going over a hill, and I can see the tunnel the driver was talking about, it's all dark and foreboding, I'm still going "Through the mist, through the woods, through the darkness and the shadows" but MK tells me to stop, as she is still terrified.
I'm not terrified, but then the bus driver shouts "HANG ON" and the street car is suddenly dropped, we're going down a really steep hill but it's roller-coaster-steep, and there are no restraints in this old-fashioned PoS. I fall out, start heading towards the ground front-first, towards a spire that appeared out of nowhere. NOW I'm terrified.
I wake up suddenly, still feeling like I'm falling, with my heart racing. I think that's the first time I've been awakened by sudden death game over. I've been wounded multiple times in my dreams but the sensation of falling woke me up.

Turns out past Oella in old town Ellicott City, there's a castle with a waterfall/river, and people go swimming in it. We went to visit someone who had a house there. I had that shitty romance novel with me, for some reason, and I dropped it in the river. I look at a map, confirmed with my mother that this was the Cester river (it doesn't exist, at least not near me) and swam after it, but I soon found out we were swimming above the waterfall, as I almost fell down it. And it was a Pocahontas-type waterfall. I was concerned that my book had floated this far and gone down the waterfall. I looked at the map again and noticed that a few feet behind me was a branch off into this little stone platform attached to the castle, and a bunch of old ladies and their husbands were sitting in there. They had caught the book. I went in to get it from them, but they were enjoying reading from it. I have no idea why I wanted it back so badly.
Dream changes, I suddenly am imprisoned with this family. They have a full kitchen behind these bars, the square they are confined to is about the size of our quad. The father is cooking pancakes, and it is Christmas. The cell next to them has a family of jerks in it. When the mail comes, the father of that family laughs at us and says "Pancakes for Christmas dinner? We've got a roast! And I've just won a trip to the Cester river!" I try to explain that it doesn't actually exist, but then I wake up.

Does this SATISFY YOU, Ms. "You need to have more interesting dreams!"

I was at home. My parents were showing me this chart of the St. Peter's basement and questioning me about Adventure Bible School. I pointed to the different areas and tried to convince my father that I was not active in planning the school, I just supervised the transitions to activities.
Meredith was in my house. DUH DUH DUHN. I'd convinced her to read Sluggy Freelance (you want an archive binge, I'LL give you your fecking archive binge, that's the first webcomic and it's been going since 1997). Meredith got to Game Called On Account of Naked Chick, when Torg finds Oasis in a pond. We went out to this pond/lake/swamp with a camp of people looking for Oasis. We are there to witness the explosion of Dr. Steve's lab and Torg running away. I step in the water accidentaly, and get a leech stuck to my ankle. I don't notice it for a while, but then I feel a pain down there and when I pull it off there's this thin protrusion of skin, like a flesh toothpick, sticking out of my ankle. Some random guy gives me a bandage to put on it, and it magically feels better and doesn't freak me out.
We go back to our "house", and by that I mean we stop at this mall/bar place that looks like union station. My parents meet the Ballards there and they go off to talk and drink. I'm sitting at a smoothie bar with Meredith, Oasis and my sister. My sister and I aren't fond of Oasis, because she's the main cause of Sluggy Freelance's Kudzu plottedness, and because she attacks Zoe. I ask Meredith to what point she's gotten in the comic, and she's made it all the way to Kiki's Virus, the Y2K matrix arc. In order to not spoil it, I say nothing to Oasis about her later actions, and Meredith doesn't understand why we dislike her. Of course, for some strange reason Oasis is not trying to kill us or get information about Torg, so she's obviously not very in-character.
I'm in my closet looking for my blue short pajama pants, 'cause it's getting to hot to wear these sweat pants. I find the striped shirt that goes with them, but I'm distracted by a loud clicking. I look around and see a large spider, a fecking HUGE spider, walking across the floor. He's so big his legs click as he walks. I'm freaked, I take a shoe and hit the thing with it, it bounces off of him. He exits the closet. The closet is not in my dorm room, there is a queen-sized bed and a side table in this room. I grab Fool off the side table and squish the spider with it, he is so big that it's barely effective at first. Eventually I smush it with that disgusting bug-crushing sound. I lift the book up and am horrified to see that I've killed a child, no bigger than a doll. I've crushed her entirely, there is blood all over her clothes. I pick her up carefully and place her in the drawer of the side table. I need to get out of the house, before her parents come home. But then I remember that it isn't a problem, because I'm a death merchant, from A Dirty Job. I start looking for the glowy soul object. The inside of the drawer is glowing. I look inside it with dread, and see that the girl is actually a doll. She is still bloody and realistic-looking, but she is no bigger than a computer mouse, and only objects can be glowing with the souls of the deceased. But if she is the soul object, then who is deceased?
Then I wake up to Erin's alarm, turn over and fall asleep again.
I'm in the alternate reality, with Rose and the alternate Doctor. We're in a car, chasing from the ground a zeppilin containing the alternate Master. Rose's family has been kidnapped by the Master and he's running his evil plan, just with Rose instead of Martha, and he has real Doctor kidnapped while alternate Doctor (is there even an alternate Doctor? I doubt it.) fixes everything from the ground, somehow unnoticed.
Then I wake up and think "I need to remember these dreams for the fecking log."