Die Toten Hosen

I was at a Die Toten Hosen concert with Meredith and Erin. The band was backed by an entire orchestra and they started mockingly singing songs from Oklahoma! We went over to look at the orchestra players, but they were visibly unhappy. We noticed they were playing until their hands bled, and they seemed to be shackled to their seats. No sooner had we noticed this then we were shackled to chairs. We had to write an essay on the concert. I was dismayed to notice that the outfit I'd worn became baggier and tattered and turned into the shirt I wore for my zombie costume. We finished our essays in 10 minutes, then I was given a keyboard, Mer was given a drum and Erin was given a guitar and we had to play. This was simultaneously awesome, I mean we were playing with Die Toten Hosen and I miraculously knew exactly what I was playing without music or anything, and distressing, we were kind of imprisoned, wearing bloody clothing, it seemed like a bad plan. We started discussing with the other orchestra players a method to escape when the band started playing Alles Aus Liebe and I got distracted singing along.

What in the name of bees was he doing there?

There was some kind of party going on, and I'd made a mistake in giving Mel the guest bedroom because David Wong of Cracked.com and John Dies At The End had to stay in that room.

It's been a weird Christmas season.

Kind of materialistic, but the lack of Christmas cheer around here has pretty much made Christmas even more just about presents than usual.
So, everything I opened in my stocking and under the tree was a Christmas ornament. Madeline too. We were both pretty annoyed by this, I mean who wants a Christmas ornament after Christmas is over? So we went out shopping and traded all of this gifts we'd bought for ornaments. That'll show 'em.

In a blizzard.

Paul Ballard was in our room in Bushnell interrogating someone about a murder, I don't remember who but I think it was Chase from House. Paul was interrogating him best he knows how: by being a complete asshole and throwing things. Erin yelled at Paul to stop before he broke all of our stuff. She got the information out of Chase by asking nice questions and promising him we could make snowmen the next day.

Not actually taking mail to Texas.

I was at the airport on my way to Texas. I handed the lady my boarding pass, she looked at it and frowned and told me to come with her. She took me to an information desk and asked another woman behind the counter something. Then she turned to me and said "Unfortunately we can't let you on this plane." I asked why, was there something wrong, did I need a new plane ticket? She told me it was because the plate mail I had in my carry-on was historically inaccurate.

I woke up so relieved.

I had a bunch of little dreams, but the only one I remember is sleeping until two, missing the beginning of my noon final by 2 hours.

The Picasso Code

I downloaded Google Chrome. An error window popped up saying that my hardware couldn't handle Google Chrome and instructed me to go to my nearest computer supplier. I did, it looked like the Apple store but it wasn't. There was a meeting of some kind going on, a guy in a suit was introducing Google's new line of computers. They were about the size of a 4x6 card. None of them had mouses, all of them had little joysticks. Otherwise they looked like Macs with the apple logo replaced with the Google logo. I said I'd stick with firefox and walked out. Some old guy in scruffy clothing walked up to me outside the store and said "Google is trying to take over the world. We can't rely on modern technology." He handed me a cassette tape and instructed me to listen to it when I get home. I did. It told me to find prints of several paintings of Picasso, who predicted that Google would be the downfall of humanity and left clues in his paintings. The only prints in town were hanging in the office of the guy from the Google store. So I snuck in, and stole them all, removing them from their frames and putting them in a binder with plastic sheet covers. I refilled their frames with copies of the paintings I'd made myself, but with hidden obscene images because I'm mature. The Google guy noticed about a day later and showed up at my house, but I'd already deciphered the code and had gone to lunch with Alice and Jenn. I tried to convince them that I was serious, Google was trying to take over the world, but they didn't believe me, even with all of my proof.

I'd love to see Dr. Parker get attacked by a tiger.

I got off a bus at a resort of some kind, looked kind of like a ski place. I saw a sign in the lobby of this cabin that said "To judge wind speed, count how many owls you see." I went upstairs and sat on my room's balcony, looking over the backyard, then over a forest to a mountain in the distance. I looked down and saw a bunch of little wind mills and those kite things, and they were all turning. So I looked around to see if I could see any owls. I found two in the trees surrounding the yard, and one on the roof. I regretted not charging my camera battery.
I went downstairs to find my mother in the gift shop. I wanted to tell her about the owls. She was buying a matching fleece and vest for herself. They were turquoise. I reminded her that I owned clothes exactly like those. She was like "So?" I looked around the shop some more. There was a second level that was an open balcony around the edge of the shop. It was all books and maps and manuals and stuff. I was standing in the clothing section on the bottom level, looking up at this floor. I noticed Dr. Parker, my linguistics professor, sitting hunched up in a corner underneath a black cloak. Out of nowhere came this random guy in a suit who was being attacked by a tiger. I took pictures of the fight that ensued between the man, Dr. Parker and the tiger. They all turned into line drawings.
Then I was next to a river, and we had to cross it before a group on the other side crossed it. Of course the only way to cross was to pile everyone onto a giant shark. So we did.
Then I went back to the room and played a study game version of Apples to Apples with Erin and Mary Katy.

Real life fears.

I was at a concert with my family. I think it was Flobots, but I have no idea. I wanted to buy a t-shirt, but everything was sold out in my size. On the bus ride home I discussed my probably horrible grades with my parents. After a huge argument, during which I brought up committing suicide, and after everyone had chilled down, I asked my mom if she'd checked her facebook messages. She checked the message I sent her, sighed and said "With grades this horrible, why would we help you visit Reece?"

French people.

Gah, only remember bits and pieces.
First part, everything was on fire. Because Andrew was snoring.
I was meeting some girl, not Stephanie, for a group project. We met in the center of campus, at the fountain, but the campus looked different. It was greener, there were more trees, and the entire thing was stretched. As if the campus was on a circle, and someone pulled on opposite ends of the circle. So I met this chick at the fountain, and we went to the Nest, where they were serving chicken that cost $100. This was outrageous, so I went back to the dorm to publish some photos. Bushnell looked like a castle, except it was stretched out like the rest of campus. Instead of getting the necessary photos, I drew an M.C. Escher-esque drawing of interlocked rings.
Next I went to this fancy restaurant, on a boat, with Meredith, Erin, some teenage boy and some foreign chick. A French guy was serving us cookies. He was very concerned that we each need to get at least one of each cookie. There were sugar cookies, chocolate cookies, and ginger snaps the size of pennies. He babbled with the foreign chick in French. The boy didn't talk much, but he said French Waiter Guy was speaking with a funky accent. Foreign Chick thought it was cute. He then told us that we had to investigate some mobsters. So we all put on disguises and met on the deck of the boat. A bunch of guys in trench coats were there. Foreign chick recognized them as the ones who kidnapped her husband and started crying silently. One of them noticed, and recognized her. He laughed and pushed one of the trench coat guys so he fell over. It was actually her husband's corpse inside it. It had been lacerated, little thin cuts all over his body, and then they'd dunked him in a lemon-juice-like substance and asked him questions. The corpse's head was covered, so I pulled the cover off and saw it was the boy from the restaurant. He opened his eyes and with a cry of pain pulled out a gun and shot the head mobster. A fight erupted, during which Foreign Chick carried the boy down to the restaurant.
The rest of us followed, and we met Mary Katy at our table. She had my laptop and was delightedly showing me that she'd put my M.C. Escher drawing on Deviantart. I was pretty pleased. French Waiter Guy saw it and gave me an extra cookie.

More bears.

I was in my room at school. Stephanie called me and asked if I wanted to meet her and Adrienne for lunch and we could discuss linguistics. I say yeah, but then I start studying for music theory and before I know it Stephanie is calling me, kind of peeved, saying it's 3:00 and I'll have no time to eat before we have to go to class and give our presentation. And we haven't practiced since before break. DOOM. So I rush to the nest, but I meet them on the way back, so I skip lunch and walk back with them.
Next dream, I chased a bunch of grizzlies away from my castle from acting like a dinosaur. Also, they were afraid of honey, and Winnie the Pooh.

Hugh Jackman, on a flying bear with a spiked club.

I was walking to pollard to do my music theory project. I'd decided it would be easier to compose it on my sequencer than to compose it in finale, so I wanted to ask Naylor about it. He said it was fine. After messing with Finale for a bit in the music lab, I head back to my room. We're not living in Bushnell anymore. Our room is HUGE, with high ceilings and two giant windows opening to the sun. There're two beds that are like old hospital beds. The room actually looks like a room from an old hospital. We have a closet full of new clothes, a closet about the size of our room in Bushnell. Since all of the clothes are new, all four of us wanted to try them on. I had to wake up Meredith first, I woke her up by placing her in direct sunlight from our GIANT windows and removing her shoes. We tried on the clothes, I took a lot of pictures. We went outside to this sort of patio thing and met my family, including the Hensons and Orells. Mom started flipping through my pictures, which included one of Meredith sitting sleepily in her chair, some of the clothes, and a few of me in my bra which I hurriedly deleted. I went back inside to hear Matt explain to Erin that he'd stolen $8000 from her for her own financial benefit.
Wake up, check clock, go back to sleep.
Hugh Jackman was being chased by this Hagrid-sized Russian guy with a steel baseball bat. The landscape looked rather like the area around Paradise Falls in the movie Up. I don't know why he was being chased, but he decided he needed to fly, so he strapped a ton of balloons to some elephants and rode them through the air for a bit of distance. He gave up on that idea after a bit, and ran through the jungle some more, but even with the distance he'd gained by flying the giant Russian guy was right behind him. He jumped down into a cavern and found some grizzly bears. After a short negotiation with them, he strapped wings to them and gave them weapons. He flew on one to the top of the ravine, where the Russian guy was standing and looking down. And I love the next two lines.
"Is that a flying bear?"
"No. It's a flying bear with a spiked club. And I have about 16 of them. You should stop chasing me now."
And then I woke up.

Evil sorcerers in wooden houses.

First part, I had to help my father set up beach chairs far enough away from the water, but no matter how far away we set them they kept getting knocked down by waves.
Second part, I was in this strange house. It was really old. It was me and a nameless boy and a nameless chick. We were being held by this evil sorcerer guy, and we had to defeat him using our own magic powers, and THE INTERNET. We summoned this sea monster thing to distract him, it was like a hydra, but it attacked us as well so we had to navigate the maze-like house in order to escape while simultaneously chopping the monster's heads off. And the sorcerer was barely inconvenienced by the monster, he just zapped lightning at it. He was busy performing some ritual that involved our souls or something, but not too busy to catch us at every corner and keep us from escaping. We went up through the roof and into secret tunnels and everything, but we kept getting stopped by the monster we'd summoned and knocked back into the main hallway. The building was old, and the hallway was all dark wood, and off of the hallway was the sorcerer's main laboratory where he was performing this ritual. It had a cauldron and a lot of green smoke, but I was too busy fighting and running.
We found a laptop and went on the internet, and I entered the GITP AIM chat and asked for help. I was redirected to some "how to fight a hydra" website, and we used that to defeat the monster. Then after more secret tunnels, we were able to escape.

Then there was this picnic, at which I told that story. Then I had to explain to Squigley from Sinfest why it would be hard for me to get a job. I used an example involving my cell phone and a book to explain that I can't drive. Then I heard mom calling me to wake up, and I still don't know if that happened in real life or in dream world.

The concert will be good.

Erin and Mer and I were on the Fred going to Central Park. We passed by Hancock Fabrics and I complained that the bus never stopped there. The bus driver then turned into the shopping center, stopped in front of Hancock Fabrics and said something along the lines of "There, good enough for you? Get off." We got off and went in, though I didn't actually need anything. I ooo'd and aah'd over various crafty things for a while, then checked the time and saw I was late for my TMBG concert!
It was now being held in the basement of Monroe. I met Ben there, he was thoroughly unimpressed with the show and was like "I had to spend $35 on this?" I wondered what his problem was, as I enjoyed the music that they were playing. Not all of the songs were good. And when they had a karaoke contest, I wasn't picked to go up, which stressed me greatly. So the concert was disappointing, Ben wanted his money back, and though I was intending to get a t-shirt before we left, they weren't selling them.

Does anyone remember pogs?

I was at some kind of meeting thing, in the back row of an auditorium sitting next to some kid, like 7 years of age, and his grandmother. This kid wanted to enter the Pogs championships and needed a half-dollar (he kept calling it a 50-cents pog) to do so. He kept asking people if they had half-dollars, but no one carries those anymore, so no one did. I gave him 2 quarters and asked if they people running the tournament would just accept 50 cents. He said "NO" in an obstinate 7-year-old way. I suggested that he go out into the mall (for this auditorium was in a mall) with 50 cents and see if any stores could change it. When he refused, I took my two quarters and went out to see if any stores had half-dollars. I met Meredith outside.
The mall looked more like a hardware store, a huge open building with aisles of kiosks. One aisle had rooms, like hotel rooms, that people could rent by the year and use as a store if they liked. I'd rented one and all of my stuff was in it. It had a bed, a small kitchenette, a few tables and a cash register. My purse was sitting on the counter, I looked in it for a half dollar and couldn't find one. Went out into the mall with Meredith to find a store. Kept passing ice cream stores and thinking "I reeeeally want ice cream but that would make me look like a pig." After not finding any stores, I wanted to go back to my little room, get my coat and return to campus. But I couldn't find my little room. I walked up and down the ENORMOUS aisle where there were people setting up their little rooms, which were open to the aisle like a mall kiosk, they weren't private at all. They were stacked on top of each other, with a ladder on each side of the opening to the room. None of them were mine. Mine had been on the floor when I was there earlier, but it wasn't anymore, and it was impossible to check the highest rooms from the ground looking up. I asked a guy if I could see the directory, but he said no, that's classified. I angrily commented on how stupid that was. Meredith made a comment about how she was getting negative vibes.
Then I woke up.

We should at least make cookies.

So, I was going to a movie at Cheapseats with Alice and Erin. They'd set up a little concession stand and with each ticket came a free drink and pretzel if we wanted them. I did, so I got in line, but I was the last to get anything and the film had already started. It was a film about evil cults.
Then I was selected to go with some FBI agents to infiltrate a commune filled with brainwashed people. We drove to this area that looked suspiciously like the Howard County fairgrounds, with a few small wooden houses. We barged into these places and interrogated some people, they all acted like those people from the 5th episode of Dollhouse, the one with the commune.
Curses, that's all I remember. Except I woke up with the notion that we should make sugar cookies in the shape of mobius strips.

Utterly not-epic.

It was my birthday party. My mother was there, as were my ladies, and Mel and Colleen. And a bunch of German biker dudes, which made Mel and Colleen go "0_o!?" We were sitting around the VA hall fountain eating cake and ice cream sandwiches. I started singing Angeber by Die Aerzte. That is all I remember.

Not mine.

This dream is NOT MINE, but Boyfriend's. It is incredibly epic, so I'm putting it up here.

[Reece]
So, I was, for some reason or another, recruited to this elite squad whose sole task was to find and destroy Dracula. We chased him all over the world. We eventually got him onto a van. Or rather I managed to sneak on a van he was on. Anyways, it was day time, but the windows were heavily tinted. I managed to open the van's side door and force part of him out. Unfortunately vampires in my head don't just poof into dust. They burn really, really slowly. So the guys in another van that was chasing us pull out a turret and try to shoot at Dracula while he's burning. Something happens and the van crashes.
I "wake up" in the wreckage to my bones fixing themselves in an extremely painful way. Dracula had apparently made me a vampire, saying his reason was that he oh-so-enjoyed watching "heroes" fall. And then he lead me to a suburban area by saying, "Stop me, if you can!" The first thing he did was slaughter and drink the blood of two deer from a nearby woods and flung them in a very grotesque way into a man's trees. I could do nothing but cower behind a vehicle, realizing the whole van thing had simply been because he LET me do that. That this must all be part of some crazy plan.
But even though I was a vampire, I had retained my personality. And a new sudden realization was that the master vampire hunter of our squad (apparently akin to how famous Van Hellsing is) really just wanted Dracula to turn him into a vampire, and was fudging the turret shots on purpose. And Dracula knew this too. It's why he didn't fear the squad. But elite guy had already fallen, so it wouldn't be any fun to turn him. So then Dracula turned his attention to a rather nice large house across the street. He entered in, screams could be heard for almost a half hour before police arrived. Dracula had abandoned me to see what I would do. Hellsing arrived with the police. And it was only 20 or so minutes until dawn. They immediately saw the mangled and disfigured deer in the trees. One officer threw up. Then they saw me behind the vehicle parked on the side of the street. They began asking me questions, Hellsing immediately recognized what I was, but only eyed me. Sun rise was getting closer and closer. I said I was a night owl and that I really couldn't possibly answer any questions coherently right now. They insisted that it would only take a few minutes and started walking me to the big house.
Sunrise. It burned like an extremely intense sunburn, and it was getting worse. I could feel my skin burning away slowly. I ran for the house. Ran for the shade. The police followed, as did Hellsing. None of us, save Hellsing, were prepared to see what had happened to that family. Apparently they were having some party or something because there were a lot of mangled dead bodies. And a lot of blood. Dracula had apparently only drank a little from each of them, letting the rest spill on the floor or on furniture. It was a grotesque sight. The police freak out, one pulls a gun on me and shouts for the other to investigate.
I am being yelled at. Questions like, "How?!" and "Why did you do this?!" While he ignored my "It wasn't me!" He exclaimed how that everyone was dead and it was I who had committed such horror. As he said that, his partner could be heard saying "Not everyone is dead." in the most ghastly tone I have ever heard.
We went to see what he was talking about. In the room were three people stirring from onconsciousness. They each were impaled by many shallow little prongs, arranged in pairs and connected to wires that lead out of the window. The flashlights were waking the victims up. They saw the police and Hellsing and ran at them, half of the prongs being pulled out because the wires were too short to allow movement. I realized too late: Grounding wires. As the victims embraced their would-be heroes, it must've felt like being hugged by lightning.
A second later the house's power went dead, and 6 smoking corpses lay at my feet. I was horrified. Dracula stepped out of the shadows. I asked him why. He said because he wanted to show me what I am capable of, what I WILL do. I told him he failed, I kept my personality, that I would never do anything like that and that I will find a way to destroy him. He said, "Poor, simple boy. Every vampire keeps their mind. It is the slow workings of immortality that will drive you insane. And when that moment comes, I will be there to drink in the mayhem with you..." and then he was gone, disappeared in the same shadows he appeared in.
[/Reece]

Though I had to take one for Tennis, so I wouldn't be TOO surprised.

First part, I was testing new toys. There was this thing that was like a combination of Gack and Legos. You built something out of these lego-like blocks, then you could throw it at things and it would go splat, or bounce, instead of falling apart. I built Cookie Monster.
There were more dreams before this one, but I don't recall them.
We were having a final for Weight Training. There were 10 short answer and an essay. @_@ The only short answer question I remember was "Write down what machines you use to work out. If you use any aerobics machines, what is the medical warning that appears on each one?" That one was easy enough. But then there was a question about the history of weight machines or something that no one knew. And this was a timed test. And we were in an Italian restaurant. There was garlic bread, and a lot of moaning about having to take a test.

I woke up 3 times!

First dream, I'd just gotten off an airplane in Texas. I met Reece, we went on a date, kissed for a long time.
I woke up for real, thinking "Weee, can't wait to tell Reece about that dream!" Tossed and turned for a bit, got back to sleep.
I "woke up". Again thinking about telling Reece about my dream. It wasn't late enough though. I looked around and found myself in a daycare-center-looking place, with rubber pads on a carpeted floor and coloring books and toys everywhere. I was on a cot. Titus and Meredith were there, coloring. I was nervous about anyone finding out what I dreamed about, for some reason, but for some reason I told Titus. He did his characteristic "Woah, really?" Though that doesn't seem to apply to this situation much. :P Titus told Meredith, who nodded disinterestedly. I went over to a nearby computer to check my emails. A random playgrounder who I'd never encountered entered the gitp chat, and then started messaging me outside of it. Asking if I'd had any weird dreams lately. I linked her to this blog, and she was like "Cool, did you have any last night?" I said "No."
I "woke up" again, thinking "That was weird. Now I get to tell Reece about my dream!" But looking at the clock, I saw it was 3 AM, nowhere near time to wake Reece up. So I went for a walk instead. I wound up in a suburban neighborhood, near a house that looked like the Dales' place. I knocked, and a blond woman in a blue dress answered the door. I'd been hired to babysit. I went through the house to the garage to find the boy I was babysitting. There was a swingset in there, and the boy, who was about 5, was just sitting on a swing, stationary. The second swing was moving by itself. The boy was following the moving swing with his eyes. I thought about it for a second, and decided that there was a ghost child in that swing, that only the boy could see. Probably an incredibly angry child who couldn't stop swinging. So naturally I started making faces at it and insulting it. I then noticed a particularly fierce-looking Chow chained up behind the swing set. He started growling and barking at me. The boy just sat there and observed this scene. I exited the house through the garage, I didn't get paid or anything.
I "woke up" again. I checked the clock and saw that it was 10:17 AM. I found that Erin was already up. She asked where I'd been, despite the face that I clearly had just woken up I told her I went for a walk and I visited that haunted house. Erin was rather annoyed that I didn't take her. I sat down at my computer, hoping to get on AIM and finally tell Reece about my dream. It was still earlier than usual, but he was online. I was STILL nervous about Erin finding out what I'd dreamed about, but she was reading the computer screen over my shoulder. So I was just like, what the heck, and typed the message to Reece anyway.
Then I woke up for real. I still have to tell Reece about my dream. :P

Late post is late.

I was in this house I didn't recognize with this family I didn't know. Apparently I had biked there. There was a program on the TV about comic book movies in recent years. The man was talking about how Spider Man was the first one, but I was like "I thought that was X-men." Then a dog outside, a pit bull, started barking really loudly, and the mother of the family and her five identical children got up quickly and rushed out to the car. I joined them, and we went to the shopping mall to meet their father. Then there was a chase up and down escalators involving some Aaron Eckhart clones who were trying to steal stuff. I wish I remembered more, it was quite exciting.

A lot of dreams lately seem to have Dad getting mad at me.

I'm sure Freud would have something to say about that.
Ok, it was summer and time for the yearly beach trip. We'd just gotten to the house, which looked a lot like the Pounder's house, but bigger, and beachier. We immediately went out and set up. The Hensons and the Orells were already out there and set up. Ned was coming in from snorkeling as I went into the water. I had my usual discussion with Reilly about using swim goggles in the ocean.
We went inside later to find Dad at the kitchen table looking worried. Turned our he'd been fired from the NSA and had to find a new job. I joined him in searching. He had a recipe box filled with little cards that had open positions and their descriptions on them. One of the jobs that he liked seemed to be running an artsy summer camp. I also expressed interest in this job. He said he especially liked it because it counted as school credits, and I was like "It does??" He angrily showed me the card and started ranting about how I never look at anything closely and that's why I'm failing at school.

The dream changed and there was some bit about Reece getting me a robot dog for Christmas.

I haven't touched a piano all week.

I arrived at piano class, but I rummaged through my bag and found I had left my sheet music back at the dorm. I wasn't particularly disappointed, as I hadn't touched a piano all week, but still, I had nothing to do for an hour. My piano teacher sent me to the library to look for new sheet music. I found some, but it was all beginners stuff. I was in the kids section of the Howard County library. There was a class being held there that I attended for an hour instead. Professor Parker was there, but it was a bunch of elementary school children.

Hooray, drawing party!

I was shopping with Erin and Matt. First we were at Michaels, so I went to the back where the embroidery floss is, and I got some plastic cross-stitch frames. Matt stopped by an aisle where they were selling Star Wars action figures. Then we went through an "employees only" door behind the needlework aisle, and found ourselves in the front of a restaurant. A very small waiter greeted us and grabbed menus to seat us. My parents and I think the Ballards were at the bar. I passed by the short waiter dude with an apology. Everyone started laughing at me for apologizing to the waiter. I was embarrassed and went to the other room, where I met with Ballard and Sheckells. And out of nowhere appear Meredith and Reece. Then we are all provided with crayons and paper and a drawing-party ensues.

Zombie fun was planned for today, but rain ruins everything.

Madeline and I were at the mall food court, except it was really nice, like hard-wood floors and walls and candlelight, but it had the same crappy food. I wanted some cheap Chinese food, so I went to grab some from the same place Madeline had gotten hers. I ordered a cup of orange chicken, but the guy said they were out of orange chicken. They actually had no more Chinese food, and only had steak. Steak with feta cheese and tomatoes on it. But dammit, I wanted Chinese food. Madeline pointed out that there were 2 other cheap Chinese places in this mall, but I was already seated. Besides, we didn't have time, we had to go to a party.
There was some kind of festivities at St. Peter's. But then zombies attacked. So we escaped to someone's house. I ran into a closet to put on my zombie costume so I could pretend I was a zombie so they wouldn't bother me, but the closet I ran into had glass doors so everyone could see me changing anyway. I put on my costume and went outside. Mary Marguerite got a picture of me acting like a zombie.

SATs? Really?

I was walking down the path from Seaco to the mailroom with Meredith and some guys that I didn't recognize but were part of some sports team. One of the guys tripped on the stairs, fell down onto the sidewalk and broke his face. Like his jaw split in half. There were vicious seagulls around that would attack anyone with an open wound, so that guy was descended upon immediately. I had a small cut on my chest, though, so I was attacked by a seagull too.

Next dream I was at my house playing piano. My father came home and asked me about some schoolwork thing. My SAT scores were brought up for some reason, and he was like "You can do anything you put your mind to, why were yours lower than your sister's?!" and got all mad. "I should take that nice laptop I bought you away from you!" I replied "Ugh, Dad, sometime I just want to - ". The parents thought I was threatening them and got even more angry. Mom said "Don't you threaten your father!" I wasn't threatening them. I explained that I was going to say something about breaking my cheap laptop in half just to spite them. My laptop is not cheap, btw, the laptop in the dream was a small black thing that looked like a plastic toy. The parents locked me in my room and left the house.
Meanwhile, Madeline was having a party downstairs. I could hear them in the kitchen, the only guest I can remember is Greg, but you know, the whole crowd was there. After a bit Madeline came upstairs and unlocked my door, and graciously offered to drive me somewhere. I declined, as I had just gotten a call from Mrs. Dale asking if I was available to babysit.
So I went over there, but there were like 20 kids. I had Meredith come to pick me up in that car that she has, because she totally has her license, and we went to a park. We left the kids on the playground and went exploring in the woods and along a small creek. After a bit of that we came across a small theater and went in. The inside looked kind of like the lobby of the Dorsey Medical Center combined with Dodd Auditorium. We found that the show playing was the Rocky Horror Picture Show. We took seats in the front row, next to my lab partners from first semester biology last fall. I complained about these seating arrangements for a while, Meredith argued with me, then I told her I'd been attacked by a seagull, then I woke up.

German literature.

We don't have a real German class today, we're going to be given an in-class assignment and we're allowed to use our texts and our dictionaries.
We were sitting in the classroom, waiting for our assignment. Well, I was waiting, everyone else seemed to be working on something. I asked what they were working on, and the one dude in the class showed me a sheet that he'd apparently given them that described a paper that was to be turned in today. I hurriedly started writing it down on notebook paper, hoping that would be alright. I manage to finish 2 pages before he's arrived to give us our in-class assignment. He comes in, collects our papers, but doesn't give us the assignment. He just remarks on how big my dictionary is and leaves. We wait another 20 minutes or so, we're all talking and complaining about this and the class in general, when Reece comes in to give us our assignment, which is a crossword puzzle about Metamorphosis.

Fun electives or electives that might be useful?

I was at the computer at home, looking at classes, having the same discussion with Adrienne and Stephanie about next semester's classes. Adrienne was taking more German and doing quite well in it. At some point our location changed from the computer room to a submarine, but I don't remember when. Stephanie kept saying I should take useful classes, Adrienne said I should do whatever I want. I of course kept insisting that I could afford to take meaningless electives next semester. Adrienne pointed out that I need to make the decision by tomorrow (today) at 3:15. Dream me started panicking. Then Erin made some loud noises and I woke up.

*grumble*

There was a party on an airplane. Well, the inside was a hotel-like place, more like a B&B as far as the style, but huge. The outside was an airplane. The party was the "Playground Prom". I was upset because it seemed Lord Blace was taking Blackfox to the prom and not me. So I retaliated by dancing with everyone except him. And drawing avatars of me dancing with everyone except him. Reece was very apologetic when he saw these, so I forgave him. We went upstairs to make out, but my sister, my mother, and some other playgrounder I don't remember, kept coming upstairs and calling for me. And then I had to go to the bathroom, and then the party moved into Reece's room and we had to hide, and THEN the plane landed bumpily and beds and food were sliding around and a bunch of people got injured, so basically no making out with Reece.

White floor and sea-green walls. Like the color scheme of Mom and Dad's mac.

Ok, so we were making a movie of a book, but we were having lots of problems with equipment, and whenever I was done animating something happened that would delete at least some of my progress. This was very frustrating. After many mysterious clues, included a cardboard sign with the word "FISH" on it in big letters, and finding a Ken doll on the stairs, we solved the mystery. Turns there was this actor that kept sabotaging our set because he didn't get the lead role. The director, a very small and loud man with squeaking voice and a huge mustache, was shouting about how he wasn't surprised.
We went to the man's house for more evidence. But he lived right above the apartment I lived in. Our apartment was very interesting. All of the walls were a sea green color, and instead of a small cluster of rooms it was a straight line of rooms and hallways that took up one side of the building. The last room was mine, it was a little smaller than the others and had a white carpet, a white lofted bed in the corner and a HUGE computer with a tablet and nice sound equipment. I saw that my cell was on my bed and put it in my pocket and began to work on my animation. A few minutes later I heard loud and angry parents enter the main room shouting about cell phones. I took a look at my phone and noticed it was on "alarm only". I'd missed 3 calls, 2 from each of my parents and one from the Cerwonkas, of all people. As I looked at it I saw a notification on the screen, like the one I'd get if someone had sent me a picture message, except instead of a circle and the word "connecting", it was a picture of a churning ocean and the words "preparing to land." Then I was on a wooden boat with a stereotypical bearded fisherman in a yellow rubber jacket.
Then I woke up.

GROSS

The only part I remember was having a tick on my eyesocket. Gah.

OH, and then when that part was over we went to a breakfast party, "we" being Mer and Erin and MK and my mom, and there was cake, and that blueberry thing that TITUS brought on Saturday, and I was like "WHAT SHOULD I HAVE?!" And then we sat around and discussed... something, but there was cake.

City Face!

My sister found a tame pigeon, who reminded me of City Face (you can read through the 10-page story without knowing anything about Gunnerkrigg Court). I was petting the pigeon, but then I thought that might make Cyrus jealous, so I stopped. But it DID make Cyrus jealous. He got into an argument with the pigeon.

There was another dream... I'll edit it in when I remember it.

RIGHT!
I was at the gym for weight training, but all of the machines were crammed in this wooden shed, about the size of mine at home. The door opened and people spilled out onto a path, by a river, lined with trees. People started taking out machines. I got a recumbent bike out and pointed it down the path and started exercising. Something went wrong, the machine broke and I was riding the bike along the path. I rode into a group of cyclists, all on exercise bikes, who I recognized as random banterers from the Playground. The coach from weight training yelled at me and told me to go back to where the others from my class were exercising on their completely stationary machines. I went back. The coach said "You got caught up with those random banter people, didn't you?" and I was like "Yeah."

This is no good! This is not right! (my feet stick out of bed all night)

My mother was throwing some kind of party at our house. My friends and I were running in and out, take care of things. Dad bought some booze. There were people over and dinner was being served when my mom noticed that Ralph had bees embroidered on his forehead. I was like "Oh yeah, I put those there!" and mom was like "Take them out! You can't embroider things on the dog!" One of my friends, I don't remember which, said "Well I thought it was a good idea." Mom sent us out on errands and stuff to make up for that. Andrew Ballard was there for that part, I discussed TV shows with him.
Then we were at school, and it was time to pack for fall break. My parents decided to pick us up, so they were there. Then Reece shows up unexpectedly. I was like "Hey! You're here early!" and he just stood there awkwardly. I ran up and hugged him, but he kept just standing there. He seemed to be petrified of my parents. So I dragged him off away from them, he finally snaps out of it and goes "Wait, what am I doing here? This is not right! This is not the Renfest!" I was like "Does it matter?" and he said "YES, we've been planning for the Renfest for months, this is not right!" and strolled of uninterestedly. And I was sad.

This reflects real life.

So, Stephanie was in my music theory class instead of linguistics. We had an assignment to dress in ridiculous clothes and take pictures of each other. I thought the assignment was sexy clothes, so I did the wrong thing and was corrected at the very last minute. My final outfit ended up being striped pants, a plaid vest and a top hat.
Because I did the wrong thing, I ended up missing German lit. So I went back in time, right into my German classroom at the beginning of class, but my body didn't come with me. I contacted Meredith with my mind and worked something out that fixed that little mistake. I sort of faded into existence, apologized a LOT for missing the first 20 minutes of class, and everyone was confused about how I didn't use the front door.
Interesting, because I'm probably going to miss some German because of a theory assignment.

That is so out of character.

I found out that one of the chat playgrounders lived in Wise county VA. I think it was Bea, yeah I know she doesn't. I started talking rather meanly about how I don't get why anyone would want to live there. Bea explained that most of the people had been living there for so long and didn't want to leave their normal lives. I started whining that there was nothing to do but go to Walmart. Bea countered that there was hiking and mountainy stuff, I conceded to that, but also said that they weren't real mountains down there compared to the mountains or alps.
Next thing I know I was hiking. And I saw this weird animal that had the head of a bird and the body of a moose. I found out there were more mixed animals around when I was chased in a car (driven by my mom) by some buffalo/lion mix. And Ralph got super-protective and violent and won a fight with a wolf thing by tearing it's throat out in a bloody battle.

Interesting discovery.

In a lightsaber brawl between Reece and TITUS, Reece wins. HA!
I'm sure this is not symbolic of anything.

(My boy's penis is larger than your boy's)
(The latter is based entirely on speculation and not on any information, dream or otherwise)

It took place on campus walk, in front of Trinkle. There was a lot of jumping. It devolved into a fist fight at some point. Reece won.

Bah.

First dream, I was in the weight room, Meredith was showing me new weights. We came to this one machine that didn't seem to work any muscles. It had this large lightbulb-looking thing in the middle of this round spinny table. You were supposed to sit with the bulb between your legs and spin around. Kinda like one of those merry-go-round things with the wheel in the middle. Except it had what looked like a lightning generator right above it. I took one look at that and said "No thanks."
This weight room was in Reece's basement, and I went up to find a bunch of playgrounders there. Ones I know who they look like, represented by their actual persons instead of their avatars, Trog and Alarra I know were there, and of course Reece, there were more. They were playing that game where you have cards with questions on them, you write names down on a board and move around using pieces and dice to see which person you ask the question about. Sometimes they encompass the entire board. I got the question "Which one of these people do you most fear?" and I said "Reece, because he's got a lighting generator that shoots at your crotch in the basement." Meredith was like "It doesn't shoot at your crotch, you're sitting too close to the middle!" and I responded "It shoots at your crotch."

Next dream, I was going to Kathleen Levendusky's house to chill. I went to the library to fill my CD folder with DVDs. They didn't have the ones I wanted though. I went to Borders instead, and instead of buying DVDs I got Fastball's newest album. Upon going home my mother reprimanded me for buying the CD because she wanted it and had bought it on her iTunes. This got my mother pretty mad, and she was fretting and upset for the rest of the time. She went shopping and bought all kinds of snack food and I was like "I'm not the one holding the party, mom!" She seemed surprised, then put everything she'd bought in a klappbar Kiste and drove me to Kathleen's.
Kathleen was sick in bed. Like, cartoony sick, all green and warty. Poor thing. She was watching the news and laughing hysterically because the headline was "Republicans actually do read books." She was laughing because she didn't believe they did and boy this sure proved her wrong. I was completely confused, because 1. Kathleen is a Republican, and a bit of a bibliophile, 2. Why the heck is this news, yes, Republicans are not uneducated bums. Well, not entirely, anyway. ;P
I told her how much weight I'd lost and she, too, was impressed. She said she was thinking of going on a diet herself, and asked me which one was the best. I immediately said Weight Watchers, because I'm losing so much weight, but I also mentioned Jenny Craig. Then for some reason I had this flashback-type-thing, where I went through a door and my mother gave me a salami and cheddar cheese sandwich and said something like "You may think this is a pretty cheap lunch, but I spent HOURS at Wegmans and found nothing else that looked edible."

Underwear is serious business.

I was under the same curse as Sleeping Beauty was, except I knew about it, and there was no spindle to set it off. It was right before the time when I was going to fall asleep. I was like "Shit, it's not October yet!" I decided that I really needed my sexy underwear to fall asleep in. The bra was on the top of the drawer, because for some reason it always is, but I couldn't find the panties. Roomie and Suiteys were both like "Then wear your purple stuff." but I was like "I can't, it's dirty!"

The second dream had Herr Desmond in it. Bleh.

The best way to deal with banned posters.

First, I was in 3nd grade, and I had just moved to Germany. I was in a classroom full of kids who knew each other. I had an assignment, which was to write my life story. I didn't know my life story, but I had someone invisible narrating my life from the future, like "Little did Emily know that in this class she would meet her 3 best friends for the next 4 years." So this voice helped me get through that assignment, and meet some friends. None of these really existed, by the way. The first was a boy named John, the second was a little plastic panda toy, and the third was a penguin. Some kind of hijynks ensued, all with me following the narrating voice.
Then I was in an airplane with some people. They were testing out actors for the new Star Wars movie by seeing if they could survive being kicked out an airplane. The kid who played Anakin in episode 1 survived, to everyone's dismay.
These people turned out to be playgrounders, kicking banned posters out of the airplane. Rawhide and other mods (all avatars, as usual) held a little conference in the back of the plane. FDL was there, having nominated Ichneumon to be banned (I don't know why, as far as I know they have no beef with each other, though I have a silent beef with Ichneumon). The mods declared her (him?) bannable, and FDL got to kick her out of the airplane.
I'm not sure if they had parachutes. Probably. We're very nice at the playground, you know.

What do boats mean? They happen frequently.

I don't remember too much. We were on a boat, and there were fireworks. And a bunch of boys who didn't know about sex but knew about ladies were like "Hey let's go downstairs and get massages!" I was like "NO." but then Erin and I went down and got massages from hot dudes. The boys found a magazine and hung around a little playground thing on the boat reading it out loud to each other.
There was some drama elsewhere, but I can't remember it.

Ugh. I can't believe I'm writing this.

First dream was so corny as to contradict itself.
Basically I was able to say that I love Reece and no one would groan or roll their eyes or be all jealous or anything.
So my first thought upon waking to Erin leaving was "I completely and totally love Reece." Then I started thinking about how awesome it would be to text him with that in the morning because his reaction would be so cute. There are buckets available at the exits for puking.
But then I fell asleep again. The next dream was related, but depressing.
I decided, screw texting, I'm going to tell him in person! He lived in a tiny room in the water-stained basement of Westmo where Phonathon was held. He was sitting in a scratchy blue chair, like the ones in Randolph. I came in, sat on his lap and said "Hi Reece! First thing I thought this morning was that I love you!" And he cringed and was like "Yeah, Emily, I don't think I actually want to deal with this anymore." THAT was heartbreaking.
Then I woke up from that dream with all of the warm fuzziness of the first dream dissipating. I'm still gonna text him with that, though.

I was packing to go to school. Well actually to move away from school, I mean I was deciding which clothes to bring and everything, but I was in my house and everyone kept saying the school year was over. I cleaned out the fridge and stuff. I went with Andrew Ballard to the store for sandwiches. We ended up at blockbuster with my mom, trying to convince her that I needed an xbox 360 and rock band. She almost bought one, but then she didn't. I went back home where father lectured more on me not being ready for school. Some guy showed up while I was sorting clothes and gave me a lecture on vegetarianism. And health care. I ignored him.

Shame I don't remember more.

I was playing some video game. That's a lie, I was a character in a video game. It involved beating up bad guys in a zeppelin (gee, wonder where that came from). I don't remember too much about it except it was being narrated in my head by James Marsters, and some move pulled off by two people. An Asian chick slit the throat of a guy but he didn't die so then a ridiculously skinny guy kicked his head off. Everyone was killing people left and right except for one guy who was just standing at the side, looking out the window and smoking. I was like "HEY, help us!" and he said "You know we're all just characters in the video game of life?" and I was like "Well duh." It was interesting.
Then that changed into something straight out of Up, with Doug and Kevin and running away from mean dogs. Except we had laser cannons. And there were dinosaurs.
I don't remember the rest.

The first part had something to do with riding roller coasters. There was one that went upside-down 5 times, and one that when upside-down for like 11 times. I picked the shorter one, but then I couldn't save the world.

Then I was dressing up for Renfest. My mom didn't think I should wear my corset-thing without a shirt, but I managed to convince her that it was absolutely necessary, with my sister's help. Her main complaint was that I would be too cold.

It's always Mexicans, ain't it?

I was snoozing on the couch in the living room at home when I heard knocking at the door. When I opened it, it turned out to be a representative of the Mexican Lawnmowing Team and his faithful Dalmatian companion. Ralph came bounding out to meet them. The representative begged me for some coffee for him and his teammates. I wasn't sure how to make coffee, but I figured it out, and made them some coffee. While the coffee was brewing, my father called me and said I needed to find a certain glasses case. It had glasses in it, but they were example frames, not glasses that anyone'd wear. I grabbed a few members of the MLT and went to look for it. I looked all over and found many that fit the description, but every time I showed one to my father he would smack it out of my hands and yell at me about how I was unable to ever find anything.

God, I hope this isn't my father's reaction.

Reece was able to visit before October. We met at a restaurant in Ellicott City. My parents were with me, and his parents. The conversation was skipped, I'd imagine 'cause I spent more time concentrating on the boy than what my parents were saying, but that part was ALSO skipped. >=/
We left the restaurant in two separate black vans. My parents were driving our van. In the back there was a green couch instead of seats, and a bunch of obnoxious boys (representing my sister's friends but I couldn't specify which was which) were fighting over it. I looked around and the back of the van looked like a tropical rainforest theme restaurant, with weird trees and animals mingled with tables. These were all filled, and a woman was standing on one and talking about how since the last time this group had met they'd lost 3 members in a fight. I asked what the fight was about and they all turned at me and scowled, 'cause I was an outsider, and I saw they were all wearing masks. One guy who apparently didn't realize that shouted "Don't you remember Gary? He was our finest member!" and held up I guess a mask that must have belonged to him.
We got out of the van, the cult people had changed back into obnoxious boys, who ran up the stairs into my parents' room and started playing D&D and other things my parents disapprove of. I sat there on my laptop and ignored them. My father came into the room and yelled that he needed to speak to me. I went out to the hall with him and my dad started talking about Reece, and how disappointing he was, how his financial and educational situation was beneath us. Politics must have not come up. I was shocked and started saying that wasn't relevant when Reece's mother came up the stairs and did the work for me. Then my dad told her I wasn't responsible or mature enough to handle a long distance relationship and offered the example of me allowing my friends into their room to play D&D. I was like "MY FRIENDS?! Those are Madeline's!" but my dad didn't accept that excuse and continued ranting. I was sad. I went down to apologize to Reece.

I love my roommate!

Ok, so my mom and I were driving me back to school. In a speed boat. Then we almost ran into a giant battleship, and there was a boat race.
Then the same thing happened, except more sensibly with our car and a giant truck.
But then we were back home, sitting on the couch. Mom wanted Erin's number so that we could call and find out when she was going to head back. I couldn't remember it off the top of my head, but I kept reciting numbers until I had the thought "Hey, I could just read it out from my cell phone." I did that.
We were in a small plane next to get me to school, flying directly above Erin's car. I called her on her phone and asked her when she was going to arrive at the school. Then I parachuted down into through her car's sunroof. Her parents were unfazed, but Erin was surprised. I went the rest of the way with them. We arrived at our dorm room, but it was more like an apartment. Walk in, there was a round table, to it's left was a kitchen with an island, and through another door to a living room. On the other side of the table was the sleeping room. We were talking in the kitchen as our parents unpacked the cars. Erin told me about this movie she was making that had a tiger and a dragon and some chick and showed me what she'd done for it. Then she said we could turn this into a play and perform it this semester! I sort of nodded my head and went along with it, but I noticed that my parents were going through my stuff and saying things like "Why on earth did she bring this?!" so I ran over and explained each thing to them. I showed Erin the pink folder I have that holds everything from last year's door collage. Erin was pleased.

Of course Walmart employees have a hivemind!

Meredith, my sister, my cousin Julia and I were at this party for adults, and we were very bored. I thought we should do something crafty, so I asked my mother to give us money and a ride so we could get some clay from the craft store. Mom at first protested, but then I insisted that Julia was bored and needed something to do, so she relented. We got on the Fred to go to Walmart, my sister thought it would be cheaper there, and my mom had warned her to keep me out of Joann's lest I buy about 13 tons of sewing supplies. We found the stuff in the aisle, but they only had orange, brown and blue polymer. I wanted some pink and white. I started to ask a guy about inventory. We got into a fight about Walmarts in general and how they are bad, when his eyes turned red and he cackled and said "You need to speak to the manager!" He led me to the back of the store where I saw a lot of people, employees and shoppers, all red-eyed zombies shuffling towards an "employees only"door. I heard rumbling from in there and realized that all of the Walmart employees were being mind controlled by an evil hive mind and now they were capturing customers! I enacted a daring escape involving several kung-fu moves that I don't know, and lots of running. I got on the Fred (for now we were in Central Park) and realized that the bastards had stolen my new purse. And everything that was in it. But I couldn't go back. So when the Fred stopped at the hotel where the party was, I was reprimanded by my mother for not only failing to procure the product but for LEAVING MY PURSE WITH ALL OF MY MONEY AND MY CELL PHONE AND MY NEW GLASSES at the store! She didn't listen to my (very good) excuse and sent me upstairs, where I found Meredith's room and we sat talking. Meredith excitedly showed me a new device she'd procured, a vacuum cleaner that also functioned as a collapsable toilet. I told her that was very nice and went to bed. 3 hours later I "woke up" and realized that I have to get up early to go to my 9:00 phys ed class. So I set my alarm, heard Erin mutter something about how my alarm is really loud, and then I woke up for real.

A wheelchair. Made of napkins.

So, it was Monday the 24th, first day of classes. Except I was here, at my house. I had to get on a bus to Fredericksburg. But I accidentally went to the wrong bus stop and got on the bus to Centennial instead. I called my mother when I got to the school and told her what happened. She got frustrated because she was on her way to work but now she had to pick me up at Centennial and drive me all the way down to UMW. But first she needed to buy me a wheelchair, because I was sick. The wheelchair she brought me was made of napkins with little lobsters on them, folded into the shape of a chair. She said she was having such a busy day at work, I can attend some high school classes. I'd probably learn something anyway, since I got such bad grades in high school. I went to a history class. My mother felt the need to walk me through this first day of school. She bought me lunch, took me to my classes, and helped me meet some super-young friends. Lunch was a sandwich that could fit in my palm, and an apple. Then I met my art teacher and yelled at her for a bit.

Julia likes girls.

I was in the beach house with the folks from the party last night. Well, it looked like the beach house, but it was located in a city. We were discussing what we'd do for the day. A few people wanted to go somewhere, other people wanted to hang here, but about half of them wanted to hang with my sister and not me.
Julia, Ali and some really sketchy dude I didn't recognize were ones that decided to hang with me. The dude was making a movie and showed it to us. It involved spies and explosions. Bridges and boats were exploding. I thought it was really cool. Then I had to go to the bathroom. I was in there washing my hands and Ali comes in and explains to me that the sketchy dude is Julia's new boyfriend (wtf?!) and I should be nice to him.

Tunnels and marbles and mind control OH MY

First part, someone had built a tunnel from Fredericksburg to the other side of the world. They'd used SCIENCE to make it possible to deal with the gravity problem, not to mention the heat problem. I wanted to find out where it went, so I paid a million dollars and walked through it to find myself in an alleyway in Thailand.
But I didn't actually, I was just imagining this while walking from the gym to German class with Matt, Erin and Meredith. I told Meredith that I had this new idea for a short story. We got to class, which was on fest tables outside along campus walk. Niebuhr was walking around collecting our homework when I realized I didn't have mind because I'd left my backpack at the gym. Erin handed me an extra work sheet and whispered "copy mine!" just as Niebuhr passed my table. Niebuhr gave me a look when she passed me and I thought "Damn, this is what happened to me all the time last semester, I told myself I'd shape up!"
The next part was like an episode of Buffy.
A teenager who lived in a clubhouse at the end of town had been kidnapping people. Our team of 4 from above went to stop him. But he kidnapped Erin, and we got even more desperate. He was filling her veins with some kind of cold substance that was going to kill her and destroy her mind. This was all part of the bigger plan of some woman who was using marbles made of the same stuff but in a solid form to control the mines of all of the children in town. Oh, and there was a big marbles tournament that day.
Matt and I went to stop that part of the evil plan. We ran into the crowd of kids, earning dirty looks from parents. The kids were playing with normal marbles. The kid who won claimed a whole bunch of the other children's marbles, but the evil lady (she had short black hair, wore too much makeup and a black cape) yelled over the children "I HAVE EXTRA MARBLES OVER HERE!" and they all ran over to her wheelbarrow filled with the stuff. But Matt and I had a wheelbarrow of bouncy balls, and they're a trillion times more exciting than marbles. The plan worked, and we managed to keep the kids away from her evil mind control.
A brief interlude had the child from The Giver trying to explain color and happiness to his mom, and his mom telling him that it didn't matter, and that all of the visitors to their little society were killed and fed to the dogs, so he'd best keep his memories of the outside to himself.
Meanwhile, Meredith had rigged an explosive device to the building when we ran up to the house. She'd gotten caught and was imprisoned, but unlike Erin she was not under mind control. The teenager came to the window and mocked us, saying that Erin was under his control now, even if his partner failed to get the town's children. Erin walked up behind him like an obedient zombie and we on the ground were shocked to see that she was now a bare skeleton. Meredith was right behind her, in chains. She was pleading with the Erin skeleton to let her go. The teenager laughed an evil laugh and brought out Meredith's explosive device. He ordered Erin to press the button and jumped out of the window. Erin glanced at Meredith and somehow winked despite not having eyes. She pressed the button, but she'd moved the explosives to the teenager's back pocket and he exploded. Then she turned back into the building and somehow put her skin back on.

School starts soon.

The class buildings at UMW now looked like my high school, except it was double-floored like my middle school with a similar library. The class rooms were pretty much bare of character, all looking like grade school classrooms instead of 100-year-old UMW classrooms.
I looked at my schedule, and saw I had all-new classes. Meredith was in the first one, which was an "art class". We played with Sculpy and colored. In the next room over, if you wanted, you could do some serious ceramics and stuff, but I was satisfied to play with Sculpy.
The bell rang and I exited the classroom into an emergency stairwell with students running up and down it. I had no idea where my next class was. The room number was 2D. I took that to mean second floor room D, but I didn't know which floor I was on. I went down the stairs and opened the door to find myself in the library, a large courtyard-ish room, with a spiral staircase leading up to the second floor. I went up the spiral staircase, past some secretaries and desk that looked like they had no purpose, into room 2D. It looked exactly like my high school biology room. A screen was down in the front and they were watching this old black-and-white film. Our job was to count all of the numbers that appeared on the screen throughout the film, and add them all up. I sat down where I sat in 2nd year biology. It was then that I realized I'd left my shoe in the other classroom.
There was no way to access the first classroom without going up and down the stairs, despite them being supposedly on the same floor. On the spiral staircase I met Meredith and Erin, who were like "Why are you walking around with one bare foot?" I explained that I'd for some reason left my shoe in "art" class. Meredith followed me back to the room. I noticed a lot of people wearing one shoe. I pointed this out to her, she muttered something about germs. We arrived at the classroom and inside was Ms. Collins, my high school art teacher, and Kincaid, a vampire hunter from the Dresden Files. They were talking about me.
I woke up/can't remember the rest.

What.

Three dreams, all involving telling my parents about Reece.
The first one they accepted him
The second one they didn't.
The third one he dressed in drag and was edited into a chapter of the 8th Harry Potter book.

I miss miramar.

This friend of mine, well not really a friend so much as an acquaintance, from high school was holding a huge party. Like a huge party. Besides the 8 or so friends from my own high school group, she invited over 200 people, including some famous people. The party was at this lodge by a lake beach, and a huge waterpark was next door. There were cupcakes, I ate like 5 and thought "Gosh, that'll be a lot of points." I had to go to the bathroom, but all the stalls were full, and the only other place for me to pee was behind a log in the basement of the waterpark. I couldn't bring myself to pee back there, because there was a staircase RIGHT THERE. There was an exit opposite the staircase to a waterfall slide that fell into a wavepool, so lots of people were coming down the stairs. After a while I just went to the normal bathroom.
Then I went out to meet my friends, I was sitting with Sheckells. My parents were close by, too. Sheckells was chatting with some people I'd never met, so naturally I started speaking German. One black kid in the corner helped me remember words. I'm surprised that my subconscious was able to come up with "verschwindet" (to disappear). Sheckells got mad at me for being antisocial.
Then I woke up.

3 dreams.

All I remember about the first one is, there was some competition, and Reece was thrown into the Potomac with some sharks and I had to save him.
Second one, the Dominic Deegan snarkers were on some debate show, arguing with the host about the comic. Moe Sizlak from the Simpsons was there, and Squidward from Spongebob. They were building wooden slides and jumps for an obstacle course the snarkers had to run.
Third one, we went to the beach with the Cerwonkas, who looked just like they did years ago, even though I know that both of the kids are grown up now. We ordered a pizza, and received an accordian. There was some drama regarding my grandmother's cell phone. We took a walk on the beach as everything turned into legoes, and I woke up.

Jail.

I was chilling with Meredith and David, who'd been arrested. I remembered that I'd received a paper in the mail saying I had to go to jail. I didn't know why, but I felt I should, so I looked through my backpack searching for this sheet of paper and found nothing but a bunch of graded German and math papers. I followed them to prison anyway, I didn't know where to go so I just followed Meredith around. She went over to this corner where a bunch of chicks were making art out of coke cans, and made this little sculpture with her name on it. The prison looked a lot like the cafeteria at centennial. I went up to this nice black woman at a counter and asked her why I'd been arrested. She looked at me and said "Do you want to sign up for the midnight breakfast at seacobeck?" I kept asking and she kept changing the subject to midnight breakfast.

I get violent when my piano's in danger.

There was some kind of ceremony going on, me and the entire student body of UMW were lined up in this gigantic hall. Oh and Aragorn and Elrond were about 5 people up from me, chatting. A procession is happening, with groups of all kinds of important people walking past us. One of these groups included Legolas and Galadriel. Elrond yells something in Elvish at them, similar to "Yo wassup my homies!" and they start talking animatedly in Elvish. Aragorn is like "Woah, don't start speaking your fancy code and leaving me out." I wonder confusedly what happened to Aragorn's ability to speak Elvish before turning back towards the procession. The Elves are holding up the procession and another group has stopped right in front of me. Everyone in my vicinity has turned to face their chairs and is kneeling because some queen was supposed to be in this group but wasn't there so we had to bow to our chairs. But I realized the queen was right there, the old lady in front of me, so I spun around and bowed to her. She smiled and said "You're not supposed to know." and kept walking. When the big ceremony ended and the crowd dispersed, my sister stared at me mortified. "You weren't supposed to do that!"
Meanwhile, we were supposed to be moving into our new rooms, but we had been interrupted by the arrivals of famous people. So my stuff, my duffel bag, piano, and a few boxes, was stacked behind my chair. I followed some people I knew to the refreshments tables, leaving it there, thinking "Honor code yay!" But then while I walked out, some chicks who I'd heard planning to go shopping but lamenting their lack of money saw my unguarded stuff and were like "Ooo, free stuff!" I went back and beat them up with an umbrella. I advanced towards the refreshments tables, except now instead of tables it was just a candy and ice cream shop. I found Meredith poking around the candies and said "Yo, some chicks tried to steal my stuff!" She said absently "Did you beat them up?"
"Yes."
"Good."
But then I saw them coming through the door with my piano, so I chased them out and beat them up again.

I read the 5th Dresden Files yesterday.

I was in my church with Harry Dresden. I had to serve at the alter. While up there, Nicodemus (demon guy from the 5th book) appeared and scared everybody off. He was there for me, though, and he really wanted to expell me from school, so he started shouting and threatening me and beating me up and everything. He gives me to Deirdre, and she takes me out of the chapel and ties me up outside. I use mad ninja skills to escape, and Erin O'Neal, who was sitting by Kirk's office and messaging Nicodemus over facebook, was like "HAHA she escaped!" at him.
Meanwhile, Harry Dresden got into a big fight with Katherine over some stupid activity she had planned for him and how dangerous it was or something. Mary Marguerite was chilling outside the youth group room, and she had a laptop, and was making a list for something. Harry did his wind trick and made the laptop levitate, and MM was grumbling "I'll veras servitas you." Then Harry started making us pancakes with strawberries right there outside the bathrooms in the basement of the church. The pancakes looked more like donuts, and I told him he should try waffles instead.
Then I remembered I had to take care of the children. We had to deliver an artifact to a poor village off in the woods. But there were two villages, one of them was the right one and the other one was totally sketch. All of the kids go off obediently towards the right village, except one kid who demands that we go to the sketch village, which was filled with hustlers and unpleasant folk. There was a big sign outside a tent that said "FREE CANDY IN HERE" so the kid went towards that. I followed him into the tent and found a cafeteria-type place with a bunch of fried foods, but you couldn't buy anything, you had to gamble on this card game and win the food. There was also no free candy. I turned right around and dragged the boy out of there.

Woke up, tossed and turned for an hour, fell back asleep.

Meredith, Erin and I were watching a presentation in Dodd auditorium, but there were these two black chicks in front of us making a lot of noise over their cell phones. I started yelling at them. They glared at me and stalked off. The guy giving the presentation applauded me and suddenly I was all popular and hanging out with popular kids (well, the popular girl from Buffy the Vampire Slayer). I left Meredith and Erin there to go downtown with them, but they followed a little after me. Popular girl and I got attacked on our way downtown. Erin and Meredith save us, everyone is happy, hearts and love.
THEN I go to Seacobeck to meet my sister, and I'm like "OMG I had this dream last night about Harry Dresden" and my sister looks at me strangely as I tell her about it. Then an evil sorceress appears and we have to attack her with tennis balls soaked in our tears.

The dreadful crime of piracy

First part, I was in our church but it didn't look like our church. I was hiding books and boxes in different drawers in the basement and office while a play was going on upstairs. I had to avoid parents of children that I wanted to hire me. I don't remember the rest.
Then Reece gave me a skype call, I had to explain to my parents who he was, which was difficult because he had a face like Michael Jackson meets the Joker. I asked if he'd fallen into a vat of chemicals. I told my parents he went to UMW.
Then we were on the campus of UMW, Sheckells and David and Rachael and I, and those three had to be executed for pirating music and videos on the UMW internet, and so being caught. My parents were the executioners, they had to drink some cocktail of death. Oh, Stephanie was also getting executed and a bunch of people I don't know. The rest of the dream was me trying to reason with my parents and help the 4 I cared about escape.

[insert clever title here] *yawn*

There was a party, on a playground. Not just any playground, the one I went to with Mel and Sheckells and David and Axel that one time. Except instead of that bouncy rubber surface the ground was mulched. And there was no parking lot, the park was surrounded by trees. And it was evening. There were a bunch of kids on the playground equipment, so I went and sat with the adults. There was food, and Doug (talking dog from Up) also was there. One woman had to go to the bathroom, but there were no public restrooms here. My aunt said the place to go would be the stream. I didn't know what stream she was talking about, but I looked down a hill on the side of the playground and saw a small stream. The hill was steep and covered with rocks, but I ventured down it anyway, wishing more than ever that I had the ability to just pee off the side of the hill. I slipped and fell, Doug yelled "OH NO!", but I grabbed onto a branch of a tree I fell past. Now I was at the bottom of the hill, but the stream was so cold that I said "Forget about it." and looked around. I saw some pipes sucking water out of the stream, which was why it was so small and the sides were so steep.
I followed the pipes and found that they were irrigating a field. This field did have the rubbery surface of a playground. They were growing large red robots. Some chick who looked like Tsukiko from Order Of The Stick had a clipboard and was examining the "plants". Another chick ran up to her and said "You have to abort the project! If these robots hatch we will be in terrible danger!" Tsukiko chick ignored her. Nameless chick was nameless, so for this description I will call her Sally. Sally ran up to me and said "You have to help me sabotage this, these robots are dangerous! These ones (she pointed at a particular patch) are shaped like giant bugs that will destroy everything in their path!"
"What about these ones?" I pointed at another patch of flowers shaped like smilies.
"Oh those are what the robots are supposed to be like, big and square and friendly. But these people (she glared at Tsukiko) planted different plants and they will doom us all! It's just like that one incident in Harry Potter!"
I remembered that incident in the dream, but now that I think on it I can't remember a situation at all like this in Harry Potter.
There were some more adventures dealing with stopping the robot farm, but I can't remember them.

Ok, I was just a spectator for this part, but this guy who looked kinda like Principal Skinner and his skinny chick accomplice had just murdered this blond girl. They sucked all her organs out and sold them, then like vacuum-packed the body, put it inside a duffel bag and hid from the police. Then I was in a car with Meredith and Erin and we were chasing after them. They were in a van, we were in a convertible jeep. We passed a building with a glass top that was lit, and the furniture inside was clear from the road. We were very far away, so that was unusual. When we got closer, I saw that the furniture and furniture arrangement resembled that of my living room. We went into the building, ran up like 60 floors of stairs to get to the top. Skinner and Chick were hiding the body on the 40th or so floor, but I wanted to see the room on top. My family was indeed sitting in the room up top, watching television and being annoyed at the amount of Michael Jackson coverage. I told them that a body was being hidden in their building, but they were like "Not a problem." So we played cards. Then I woke up.

Alcohol

Ok, it was my 21st birthday, there was a party in my garage. My parents were like "can you/will you even drink alcohol?" I asked Madeline to pick up some of that fruity vodka stuff. Madeline was all disgusted, but did it anyway. Then there was sledding, and I forgot to wear shoes and pants and was very very cold. THEN one of my enemies showed up at the party bringing her "boyfriend", who was actually a dude-for-hire who we had to pay for apparently. And it was costing us hundreds of dollars a minute. So we kicked her out. I ran upstairs to find Mel to invite her to the party, who was like "So what, I've been drinking illegally for years now."
There was more but I can't remember.

I suspect Harry Potter appeared because of my head wound.

So, not only were the Forest Diner and Forest Motel being knocked down, so was the Double T, and the building next to that, for office complexes. Now EVERYONE was completely outraged and showed up to protest. It was my family and the Ashland crowd. The Double T turned into this big red castle thing, it kind of looked like a hotel. There was a big crane with a wrecking ball. In a Gilgamesh Wulfenbach kind of way, I announced that we were going into the building and they could not destroy it if we were inside. The construction workers obviously didn't hear me, because we had to avoid the sides of the castle with the wrecking ball. And we weren't completely successful, as it hit a wall right over us and I suffered a small injury to the head.
As we ran around, I discovered more and more secret passages in this old building, and showed them to my sister.
Suddenly we weren't in the old building, but in our house. It wasn't our house, though, and it was still being wrecked. All of the rooms were out of order. And the strangest part was that now I was with Harry Potter, Ron and Hermione, and my parents and sister were still there. We were grabbing all of our stuff, hurriedly packing and moving while the house was collapsing around us. My mom thought it all-important that I grabbed bluebaby while upstairs, which I did, but my sister got angry 'cause I didn't grab her little computer while I was up there. The Harry Potter crew was all panicked 'cause Harry couldn't find Hedwig, then he remembered he'd sent a letter to Sirius earlier. I grabbed a box of Christmas ornaments, topped with bluebaby, before running out into the dirt-covered construction site, then I woke up.

A dweem wiffin a dweem!

I was on this ship, babysitting a bunch of children I didn't know. We sat on the deck, looking at the moon on the ocean and everyone was talking pictures. We went inside the boat and entered this greenhouse-ish interior, with plants everywhere. I went over to the pot that contained Prickly Jeff, but the cactus had turned into this jellyfish-like carnivorous plant that proceeded to latch onto the face of one of my charges. The kid ran outside and onto the deck, which suddenly was MUCH wider and had a hedge maze, filled with giant white flowers. I chased the kid through the maze and pulled the thing off his face. I ran back into the ship to show the thing to Erin in case she had an answer as to what could have happened. Then I woke up.
I went to tell my mother about my dream, and she was like "That's nice, Emily, you should get your head checked." I walked out of the room and entered this wood shop place, where many of my high school friends were congregating. There was some kind of huge party going on encompassing this entire building, which I understood to be very large though I only ever saw three rooms. Anyway, in this wood shop someone was drawing on people and sending them to the next room to get real tattoos. Mel got one, so did Rachael, and they bugged me to get one. I got in line, but was unsure what to get. I started jotting ideas down. I placed my fist on the table, and the next thing I know this girl is writing "Weiter als du denkst" on my hand along the side between my forefinger and my thumb. I was like "Wait, no, I want the "Bis zum bitteren ende" logo from the Die Toten Hosen album!" but it was too late. She directed me to the other room, and vanished into thin air. Everyone was confused, because suddenly no one knew who she was or why I was talking to the air, except Mel and Rachael. They looked at my hand and said "Wow, how boring." I responded "Well, she didn't listen to my real idea!"
People started looking for the tattoo ghost. I picked up this circular cardboard tube with nails in it and set both ends on my eyes as if I thought the ghost would be in there.
Then I turned over, realized it was 10:14 and I really should be getting up.

I'll never get a fucking job!

So, I was looking for a job.
I went to a Blockbuster in Snowden Square (there is no Blockbuster in Snowden Square), slapped the counter and said "Give me a job, dangit!" So they did. They said I was senior manager, gave me a badge and everything. I went outside, told my parents (who were in the car with my sister) that I had a job. They were kind of "yay." about it, I didn't understand why. But then it turned out that because I had a badge, I had to participate in this contest thing. It lasted three days, so my parents brought around a suitcase or two full of stuff. You (yes YOU) came out with my luggage and said "I'll be helping you with the tournament!" I had a team of 4 people, it was me, two girls and a cuteish guy. You kept saying "Hey, hey, go out with him!" because you're like that.
There was something having to do with a tiger in the basement with all of my luggage and my piano. Then we were on a stage with 2 other teams and a bunch of plastic gold angels. We were in front of an audience of nicely-dressed people, including the woman who told me I was hired at the Blockbuster. 3 judges talked about something I can't remember, then said that my team had won. I went up to the woman and said "Great! When can I get to work?" and she said "Oh, you were never really hired, we just needed one more person for the event." Bitch.

Feeling sleepy, feeling slow

Meredith and I were at a hospital, no, at something that looked like a hospital. We had yellow backpacks filled with art supplies, and on entering one of the clinic rooms we found the apartment we lived in, complete with roommate we barely knew. An art professor was there, teaching us how to draw Rhodesian Ridgebacks. I of course started drawing very cartoony dogs, while Meredith was drawing crazy-realistic, along with other people ('cause now there were other people). My dog suddenly came to life on the paper, it's paws and front legs stretched off of the paper, still 2d but strong, reminded me of the plastic creatures from the first episode of Doctor Who. The dog's legs started wrapping around people, tripping them up, suffocating them and other unpleasant things, but we got it to stop by putting it in a heavy frame. It was only a temporary fix, so we got everyone out of the room and locked the door.
Back outside in the hallway, more doors to clinic rooms were opened and many many people were milling about. There was a Freezepop concert outside, one of the last before The Duke leaves the band. I went outside with Meredith, found my family out there and sat with them. We were on a high level of a football stadium, and the concert was down at the bottom. They were playing "Here Comes A Special Boy" when I got there. I realized I didn't have my camera, but it was just inside, in my apartment. My sister rolled her eyes and said "Just go get it." I didn't want to miss a second of the concert, but I went anyway, since Here Comes A Special Boy" is not my favorite by them.
I ran through the hospital hallway, through a door and down some stairs, ended up in a library. I jumped over some piles of books and hit the down button, which was right next to a big red button marked "DO NOT PUSH." An old lady was going down to the 4th floor, I was going down to the 2nd. She talked to me a bit about the building we were in, I wasn't paying much attention. I got to the 2nd floor, ran out of the library and back into the hospital-esque hallways, and pulled open the door to my apartment. I found my camera pretty quickly, but then the dog drawing with arms tried to attack me. I convinced it that I was it's master because I drew it, and I put it back in it's frame. Roommate-we-don't-know thanked me and told me to hurry or I'd miss the concert.
I took the camera back out, the door to our section was somehow RIGHT OUTSIDE my apartment, despite the fact that I started on the other side of the building before. I sat down next to my sister and found that they were just starting to introduce the band members. I turned the camera on immediately to catch it. My sister kept asking me about the dog drawing lesson and whether I'd gotten a job and was I getting this on camera and I was like "Please shut up I don't want to talk where the camera can hear me and I can hardly hear Liz speaking." Madeline didn't take that particularly well, so I moved to a different seat, still taping the talking. They began playing "Lazy" right after I'd moved, I realized I'd missed completely what they were actually saying, but at least I got it on tape. Appropriately for the song they were playing, I woke up reluctantly to my sister noisily getting ready.

I think I was hungry.

I was on this adventure, with my parents, a small child and the small child's anthropomorphic teddy bear. We were walking on a log in a swamp, the child fell in and I had to save it from this alligator. The alligator turned out to be perfectly amiable. On this adventure, we were working with these 3 people, one of them we knew was going to betray us. I don't remember much, but eventually we ended up in the no such agency. This tall skinny guy, a chef's apprentice, one of the guys we adventured with, stole my father's badge and was trying to get access to all the secrets. We had to stop him. The final confrontation was the chef's apprentice finding his mentor and having a battle in this giant kitchen. My father won. Then we all went out to eat and had a squabble about who owed what on the check.
Then, there was this race going on that anybody could join. We started, it was my grandmother, my mother, my sister and I, in our station wagon. The first part of the race, the first 2 miles or so, you had to obey the speed limit, but after that you're allowed to go as fast as your vehicle will let you. That's what we do, in this Mario Kart kind of way, weaving amidst all kinds of people and cars. Then I end up outside the vehicle. I learn that any sort of wheeled device is allowed, I see people with bikes, motorcycles, electric scooters, roller skates, whatever. I lament my lack of a device and start running. The route of this race goes alongside a river, looked a bit like the bike path along the Rhine, but with more trees. A bunch of cyclists had stopped for a picnic and a drink. I tried to steal what looked like an unused bike, but then this ten-year-old tried to convince me to trade it for his. These bikes had slots, you put an identity card (looked like an old game cartridge) into a slot above the front wheel, and it said whether the bike was yours. The card had the brand name of the bike on it. This ten-year-old had a card that could cheat those things and would say he owned whatever bike. But then this larger male comes up behind me and asks what I'm doing and could he have his bike back. He shows me his ID card which has the same brand name as the guitar. So does the ten-year-old's. but the new guy's card actually matches. I stutter something about thinking it was abandoned, he says it's ok, the ten-year-old leaves disappointed. I continue walking.
I eventually pass a smoothie stand, the first stand in what looks like a giant German fest, with food stands and music. I continue walking and I end up with my mom and sister in this cafeteria. I order pulled pork barbecue and fries, and the woman behind the counter (a black woman who was having trouble speaking) kept telling me to order cole slaw, but I kept not. Eventually I got the clue and did. My mother got a gyro, and looks sternly at me for ordering something unhealthy.
Then I wake up.

The location jumped around A LOT.

Aaaaaaaaaaaah, trying to remember
It was some kind of church service funeral thing, someone I didn't really know had died, but my mother had died recently, so I was upset when the funeral procession took place right next to her grave. Mel was with me. This Professor Mcgonagall type character said I was excused. We were suddenly indoors, inside St. Peters, I went to the pew where Mel was sitting. Then it turned into a train, and I was sitting with Mel and discussing the price of tickets. THEN I was on the picnic table in my backyard, with Mel and Rachael, talking about how many meanings the German preposition "an" has (fun fact, I could only remember 2.) This morphed into a classroom, I was sitting with a bunch of German students, but I was the only one who spoke German at all fluently, it was like German one. But in a science classroom. With whiteboards. I kept writing German phrases on the board, to the interest of the student I was sitting with.
Alarm went off, I woke up and turned over.
The next dream was like Run Lola Run, I was Lola, but instead of the same situation each time I was doing different things. I called my boyfriend just once to make sure he hadn't died. He laughed and said "What are you talking about?" I explained that it all had to do with this film.
Then I decided I had to get up for reals.

HEAVILY influenced by House of Leaves

We were investigating this dark tunnel in my living room. Not the living room here, but the one in my house in Eltville, which made it creepier. Like in House of Leaves, we first entered with just some fishing wire, but it didn't go 2 miles, it only went about 20 feet. Luckily, around the 30-foot area, we entered this other room. It was about the size of my bedroom, with two doors in the opposite corner, and lit by two lamps on either side. A shelf was in the far corner. Like this.
__ _________________
<-^ doors ------------ shelf
|
| x lamp
|x lamp
|
| | Tunnel
| _ V ______________

On the shelf was a giant flashlight. I was freaked from the first tunnel, so I insisted we trade our small light for the big one. As we (I don't know who my companion was) took the flashlight down, Rachael came out of the door opposite the tunnel and asked what we were doing. I explained we wanted to explore the labyrinth. I voiced the problem of powering the giant flashlight. It was more of a spotlight than anything, it didn't run on batteries. Rachael reached up to the very top of the shelf (she's one of my shortest friends, y'know) and grabbed an extension cord. I insisted this wouldn't help very much, but she was like "y'know, it's something." The cord of the flashlight already stretched pretty far.
So we lugged this thing over to the other door, the one on the wall perpendicular to the tunnel, but when we tried to enter the door, my mysterious not-Rachael companion walked right into this wall of black stone. Rachael was like "Oh that's right, follow me!" and went through the other door. We followed her down this oak-panelled hallway. She removed the 3rd panel on our right to reveal the real tunnel entrance. We plugged the giant flashlight in and went on our way.
The tunnel wasn't as gigantic or hollow as the one in House of Leaves, it was more like the basement of Randolph, except black and lightless and no doors. We still needed the giant flashlight though, as without it it was so black we could not see. Eventually we find another door, and go through to find the basement of Saint Augustine's church in Wiesbaden. It's lit by a single candle. In the center of the room is this small hispanic toddler who introduces himself as Milo. We were asking him what he was doing here when I woke up.

The second dream was shorter, and involved Andrew Ballard and me sitting in a cafe discussing what hors d'oeuvres we should serve at Madeline's party. He suggested toquitos.

I don't even like potatoes with cheese!

Katherine hired me and Andrew Ballard to do a job. I don't remember what it was, but we were hiding in a hotel to avoid completing it. Andrew was much smaller than me. He had a rose that was helping him lose weight, but also height. I laughed at him. He said the rose was a metaphor.
We ran into the Pendletons and Francises in a stairwell that reminded me of the church stairs, crossed with Randolph stairs. I told them about the job and we bitched about Katherine for a while. We went outside and stood out by a lamppost. It began to rain. A bus came up, and suddenly we had bags of stuff. My dream went back in time to the hotel again, when we were packing stuff up. Andrew disappeared and was replaced by Mel. I asked Mel how much stuff we'd need, whether I'd need to bring a separate bag for toiletries, etc. There was a bit of running through empty hallways, all hardwood floors and walls, lit by the sun and completely devoid of furniture or decoration of any kind. I stopped in this room that contained my mom, dad and grandmother. There were decorations in this room, an oriental rug, some nice chairs, lamps and candles, and a BIG piano. I stopped to play the piano, Meema commented on how we were actually hearing me play for once. Then mom and dad told me they needed to help Karen Ballard make potatoes with cheese. Not normal potatoes with cheese, it was like a checkerboard sheet of potatoes with cheese baked on it, and every potato square had a picture on it. The entire cast of LOTR was in one row of the thing, there were some other pictures I don't remember. There was a robot overseeing this work.

Stupid waitresses.

There was this woman and her husband, and the husband had a bunch of his friends over and was kind of ignoring the woman. She was not pleased with that. The husband said something about how she was a real witch, and all of the guys were drunk and laughed about that, but the woman had a book. She took a pinch of powder out of a purple draw-string bag and started flicking it at the guys. The husband was the first to inhale the powder, and he said sarcastically "Oh no, she's got me!" Eventually all of the men were infected. The powder made them think they were animals. One guy thought he was a gerbil, so he found a cage and sat in it. The men all ended up in a small room, the gerbil cage was on a table in the middle,the rest of the guys were on the floor, trying to think of a way to get back at the woman.
Then we all went to TGI Fridays, which had changed its menu. The waitress came by to take our drink orders. One woman (a different woman, but not different guys, though they'd stopped thinking they were animals) asked for iced tea, and the waitress was an idiot. "So you want tea in a Margarita glass with shaved ice?" "No, I don't want shaved ice." "You want hot tea in a Margarita glass?" "No" and it went on until the waitress thought of tea in a glass with ice cubes. The waitress informed us that the special was beef, and pointed at a sign with a picture of a cow wearing a bib and a hat. I tried to get a menu to look at what the choices were for having the beef prepared, but they were all being hogged at the other end of the table. The waitress returned and admonished me for not having my order ready.
I woke up hungry.

Bah.

I was in the car with my mother, I was disappointed because I couldn't find my ipod and had to use my old CD player. The only CD I had was this obscure Beatles CD. We stopped at our house because my mother wanted me to change my shoes, so I switched the CD out for Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.
Party, Heather Lewis was there, she had on a "hug me if you are a ___" t-shirt (something I've never seen before in my life), so she was receiving lots of hugs. We sat at a long table. I was on a diet so I only ate salad.

My painting had a cat and a moon and a violin player.

EVERYONE did poorly on the statistics exam, so the professor decided to let us retake it. Except it was changed. And pretty much everyone on campus was taking it. We were in a building that was some cross between Seacobeck and Goolrick. There were tables all over with people crowded around them. We weren't supposed to take the exam together, but that didn't stop people. There were also beds everywhere. I went over to my bed (my dormroom bed, not the one I have here) and found Erin Kenderish there, filling out the exam like it was the easiest thing ever. I hadn't even looked at the exam, but when I did I found that it was unlike any exam I'd ever taken. Each person was given a copy of a painting, we had to copy the basic shapes of all of the items in the painting and describe each shape in mathematical terms. I was like "This isn't stats, it's geometry!" I sat down on my bed and snuck peeks at Erin's work. Then I fell asleep, and when I woke up (in my dream) my exam was gone. I went over to the table where the extras were, and was warned that I was running out of time. I was also offered cookies by some enthusiastic waitresses. I found Ballard and told him to help me. He said he would, but only if we could find someplace quieter because he couldn't concentrate in this room full of people shouting and eating. I said we could go to the locker room (goolrick, remember?). My parents jumped out of nowhere and accused us of sneaking off to have sex. I was completely disgusted, as was Andrew, but my parents didn't believe me so I just stalked off by myself to do this stupid math exam thing.

Bad thing to base your parenting style on.

It was my family from Ashland, and some ritualized honorable execution type things. I was having my head chopped off. I didn't like that, so I ran away, through a house, dragging Mel with me. We got to a body of water, with a kayak, a speedboat and a raft with a paddle. We found that the raft was the fastest mode of transport, so we took that. Then we were in a swimming pool, paddling around with some kids I don't know, some blond goth chick and a dude, we were competing with them in a race. Whoever won the race would get fed. They got the raft, we got the kayak, but we managed to knock them off the raft and steal it. We won the race and went inside to eat, we were starving. A tall woman with a bun and a tight dress led us to the dining room. She started complaining about her children. There was a missionary there, who was discussing his very flexible faith, and how he was very interested in the battle of Hastings. The woman said she based her parenting style on the battle of Hastings. There were pictures up on the wall of her children, they were moving around and yelling at each other. Their images turned into the Bayeux Tapestry, and I was very confused.
I "woke up", looked at my clock and saw it was 2:22 AM. I got up to go to the bathroom, but saw a huge and unpleasant shadow crawl across the floor. I turned on my light to look for the spider, but didn't find it, so I went back to bed and had another dream about rappers stuck in a canoe in the middle of the ocean.
Then I woke up for real.