Stupid waitresses.

There was this woman and her husband, and the husband had a bunch of his friends over and was kind of ignoring the woman. She was not pleased with that. The husband said something about how she was a real witch, and all of the guys were drunk and laughed about that, but the woman had a book. She took a pinch of powder out of a purple draw-string bag and started flicking it at the guys. The husband was the first to inhale the powder, and he said sarcastically "Oh no, she's got me!" Eventually all of the men were infected. The powder made them think they were animals. One guy thought he was a gerbil, so he found a cage and sat in it. The men all ended up in a small room, the gerbil cage was on a table in the middle,the rest of the guys were on the floor, trying to think of a way to get back at the woman.
Then we all went to TGI Fridays, which had changed its menu. The waitress came by to take our drink orders. One woman (a different woman, but not different guys, though they'd stopped thinking they were animals) asked for iced tea, and the waitress was an idiot. "So you want tea in a Margarita glass with shaved ice?" "No, I don't want shaved ice." "You want hot tea in a Margarita glass?" "No" and it went on until the waitress thought of tea in a glass with ice cubes. The waitress informed us that the special was beef, and pointed at a sign with a picture of a cow wearing a bib and a hat. I tried to get a menu to look at what the choices were for having the beef prepared, but they were all being hogged at the other end of the table. The waitress returned and admonished me for not having my order ready.
I woke up hungry.