Pirates of the Caribbean meets... I dunno.

I was walking from Seacobeck to my last class with Meredith and Sunshine. None of us were wearing shoes, which I found strange. I got to Combs, and had to use the restroom, but instead of the restroom there were a bunch of hospital rooms with toilets and beds in them and no doors. I walked through a maze of them until I found an empty one.

I checked my watch. I was afraid that I was late to class, but then I remembered that it didn't start until 10:15. The class that was being taught in there right now seemed to be an art class.

I got a phone call from my sister. I had to go grocery shopping. I told her I had a final exam, but she said that this was more important and I should meet her at the Giant (the one in EC, not in F-burg). I did. The aisles seemed impossibly huge, and filled will all kinds of stuff I'd never heard of.

We came across my father playing some kind of cornhole-type game, but with large golden chess pieces. Apparently he was on a business trip that turned out to be the best business trip ever.

Then we went to the park. Well, a park anyway, it didn't look much like Centennial park except there was a lake. We met Kenan Thompson there. I fell into the water. I got too far underwater to get back out but I could breathe just fine. I found out that I had to stay in the lake for the next 10 years. I could come out of the water once a year, but I wouldn't be free unless during that time I pulled someone else into the water.

When a year passed and I could come out again, I noticed that my belongings would wash up onto the shore before I could get out. When I finally climbed out of the water onto a bank, I found some UMW freshmen messing with my wallet. Meredith was there, and I told her what happened. I pushed one of the freshmen into the water so I'd be free. A year later I went back to that spot, which was on the UMW campus, you know, the part where there's a lake. The chick I'd pushed in came out of the water, I found her UMW ID card. She'd apparently gone a little loopy while alone under there, because she stared at everyone for the first 5 minutes of her hour-long stay on shore, and then she started threatening everyone. I rolled my eyes at her and muttered to Meredith that I'd managed it so much better than she had. Kenan Thompson reappeared when she was being pulled back in, and the girl pulled him under the water to take her place.

Linguistics

I'm sure there was more to it than this. I was on a field trip to a hardware store. I had to buy a flashlight.
Then I had to do an assignment for linguistics, I had to read an article about language and report on it. There were 2 choices, one about how eating curry results in better language skills, and one about how building architecture is related to body language. I was partnered with this fellow who was way too chipper.

Then the phone freaking rang and I woke up.

I've only been on this diet one day. Bad sign.

I was tired of dieting, so I got a bunch of friends to break into a grocery store at night with me and steal a bunch of candy. It was ok, the manager was fine with it. Except he'd switched up everything in the aisles and poisoned some of the bags of candy. He was standing there cackling evilly when we entered.

In one of the aisles I found a baby snake. I picked him up to take him back to his home. It was a car ride to a lake, and in the middle of the lake was a house where the snake lived. I remembered a story that said a snake would refuse to go home if you took him there in a boat. So I got an inflatable raft instead.

On the drive back I asked my parents if we could get fast food. They said no because we were on a diet.

Then my father woke me up to check if my windows were closed because he had to turn the AC on. They were. I went back to sleep.

There was some sort of Halloween celebration at centennial. There were shows, and everyone was in costumes. I forgot to wear one, so I picked up some fake vampire fangs. I was introduced to some people. My antisocial behavior started to tick them off. Then I found out they were the children of the guys in the band that was playing. In an attempt to get me to participate I was invited to go on stage and sing songs by The Offspring, and I did. Then I left.

I had to walk home, but it was Centennial, so it was no big deal. Just a few minutes into the walk, a Mexican guy in a convertible drove by and offered me a ride. I said no thanks. He asked me to call 9-1-1 because he'd broken his arm and needed an ambulance. I did. I told the operator where I was. I told her I was on century drive by Centennial High School, but she said they could tell from my cellphone that I was somewhere else. I looked around and noticed I was on a dirt path at the top of a hill. The guy in his car was nowhere in sight. A wooden sign at the side of the road said I was on the street she said I was on (I don't remember the name). It was still a close enough walk to my house from there. The woman pointed that out and reprimanded me for not starting from farther away, because I could use the exercise. She ignored my explanation that I was walking from Centennial High School and told me to use a more roundabout route next time to get more distance.

THEN, I walked down this dirt path and found myself near a pool. I went into the locker room, which was all wood paneling like a sauna. I started looking for a bathing suit to wear and found some of Madeline's, and some that came nowhere near fitting me. Then my mother came in with the kids I'd met at the concert and yelled at me for being antisocial AND for not having a bathing suit when I knew I'd be going to the pool (I didn't, btw).

Once again, bits and pieces.

There was some kind of cookout going on. It was a huge party, there were 5 grills going at once. I was hanging around, listening to my ipod, when I accidentally tripped over the wrong cord or something. A sprinkler turned on, a giant one that went up about 20 feet, and it doused my father's grill. He got really mad, so I made myself scarce.

Then I had a choice between hiding in my room and playing my gameboy, or going to a children's talent show. The talent show featured a bunch of kids from St. Peter's, so Kirk and MM were there. It also had the advantage of being right before a screening of the latest Pixar movie. However, I didn't want to sit through it, so I asked MM to call me before the Pixar movie began. My mother, and Meredith, who was suddenly there, got mad at me for being antisocial.

I was competing in some sort of contest with some kids who were younger than me. Oh right, it was a race through an obstacle course. We had to dive off of one precipice into the ocean, swim to a pirate ship, sail the ship over to a different cliff, climb it, and finally fight a lightsaber battle. I won.

Then I went on a cruise ship with Mer, Erin and Reece. While on this ship I had to give my final presentation with visual aids. I hadn't prepared a powerpoint, so I grabbed Meredith's purse, rifled through it and found some nailpolish and nailpolish remover. I did my presentation on how to polish one's nails. My audience was bored out of their skulls, so after I was done I went to the computer and through together a quick powerpoint about the Dresden Files, and gave that as a presentation instead.

Then I went back to the cruise part and hung out with Reece next to a pool.

Then I woke up.

I'm such a responsible babysitter.

I was on a walk, and I passed a shrubbery. On top of the bush was a baby bird who was crying. I took it home and nursed it to health and put it in a jeweled cage locked with a teeny tiny key that I kept on a rainbow keyring the size of my pinky nail. A bit passed and the bird wanted out, so I gave it the key and it unlocked the door and went out.

Then I was babysitting at this house, and I took the kids out to go shopping, and there was a shop full of pillows and I went in to take a nap. The kids went to the toy store across the way. When I woke up, I had no idea where they'd gone. So I went looking for them, and came across my parents who told me that the bird had escaped and I was like "No, I let it go" and they were like "WHAT?!" They demanded that I give them the keyring, so I did. Then I continued looking for the children. I ran across the plot of Toy Story 3, and learned about Lotso's past. Moving on, I found a sandwich shop and ordered a BLT. I was followed shortly by my parents who mentioned that they'd been here earlier and never received their order. The chick behind the counter explained that that was because they ordered something not on the menu.

I need new hair ties.

I was in a gift shop looking for some hair ties. The only ones I could find were are glittery, or had skulls on them. I picked some glittery ones, but before I could buy them my mother came in and told me it was time to go. Outside the shop was a cobblestoned street, it looked kind of like the Fussgangerzone. We went across the street to a restaurant to meet my dad and sister. Then we got in the car and went on a trip somewhere, we passed a large lake but that's all I remember. I was texting Reece as we drove, and Mom got really angry at me. My sister told me not to stress out about it, but Mom was pregnant. Then I was freaked out. First I thought "That's impossible." Then I though "Wait, why is she keeping it a secret?" Eventually I found out Madeline was yanking my chain, and I was so annoyed that I woke up.

A vampiric statue.

I missed giving my presentation today because not only did I find myself turning to stone like Amy in that Doctor Who episode, but I'd also been bitten by a Red Court Vampire. I was also visiting with family, who seemed to not really care about my condition. The Ballards were there, too. We went out for pizza.

I got on a train to Fredericksburg. There I coincidentally met my public speaking professor. I explained to him what was happening to me, showed him my stone arm and the cut on my finger where the Rampire had bit me (which was somehow able to half-turn me?). He was not at all sympathetic to my plight, and told me I could not make up the speech. I went and visited other public speaking classes and asked those teachers whether they would have let me make up the speech. Some said yes, some said no. In one class, a girl ran from the sight of me. In another, a boy had a cut on his leg and I was unpleasantly overcome with a desire to bite him.

I went back on the train to talk to my professor. He then said I could make up the speech if I could get off the train. The train was going really slowly, he jumped off and started walking beside it. But I was already half-way turned to stone and couldn't jump off the train.

I think I don't want to give this speech.

Public speaking.

First, in the dream, I almost slept through my public speaking class. I only woke up when someone banged on my door, a guy who I knew in the dream but I don't think exists in real life. He was short, and had black hair. I panicked and texted my professor. He didn't have my number, so didn't know who I was, and I forgot to sign the text message. He addressed me by a few playgrounder names that weren't mine. I told him I was sorry for sleeping through class yesterday and that it wouldn't happen again. He reminded me that I didn't have class yesterday.

It was raining heavily outside, and I didn't think I had time to walk to class. The guy who'd woken me up gave me one of those candles from the movie Stardust, and I wished myself into Combs. I landed in the stairwell between the first floor and the basement. It was as black as night outside.

I went up the stairs to the classroom. I went in, and asked the professor whether I had a good topic for the persuasive speech. He just looked at me and told me I couldn't use visual aids. Then he started writing anagrams on the whiteboard, and I left the room.

Then I was playing soccer with some African guys, except instead of a soccer ball we were using 3 pingpong balls, so the only resemblance between the game and soccer was that there were two goals, and only the goalie could us their hands.

Then I went to dinner at Seacobeck with my family from this past weekend.

Have I had this dream before? It seemed familiar at the time.

So, I was trapped in this room with my family. We and some other people had been imprisoned by a mobster. A mob boss, actually, and my brain kept calling him Johnny Marcone, but his disregard for civilian life made me think otherwise. No one ever referred to him by name. So we had to escape. The room we were in had these big display windows, and smaller windows along the bottom of the wall. The big windows had alarms on them, but the smaller ones didn't. There was a table pushed up against the wall in a corner, so I went underneath it and broke one of the small windows so that the glass would be hidden by the tablecloth. The window opened onto a small grassy space which sloped down into to a forest. I snuck around the building and started running through the streets of this random town. The building my family was trapped in was tall, and castle-like. The streets of this town were cobblestoned.

I ran into some guys I thought were cops, but they were security guards, and they worked for the mob. They took me back to the castle, and not-Marcone gave me a lecture about sneaking out, said something like he was keeping us there for our own safety. Then he locked us in a different room. This room had a blue, plasticky carpet, like the kind used in classrooms. There was a clock in the corner, a standard wall clock leaning up against the wall, ticking loudly. My mom was acting like it was a big deal that we kept this clock unbroken. There were windows on one wall, this time high up and unreachable, and perpendicular to that wall was a door on rails, like my closet door at home. I tried to open the door, but there was someone outside, a woman wearing sunglasses and a blond ponytail, and she started shooting at me. The bullets went past me and hit the clock my mother'd been trying to keep whole. Not-Marcone came in again and said he'd kill one of us if we broke something else.

He left, and I suddenly noticed that on one table there was a bunch of craft supplies. I started drawing with glitter pens. Then I looked up and saw that one of the corners of the room wasn't actually a corner, and that behind a section of the wall there was an elevator. I smacked my palm to my forehead, and felt silly for not realizing that we'd been in Melchers this whole time. Of course! I went to the elevator and found Meredith in there. I said "Thank goodness, you can lead us out of this confusing place!" Meredith took the elevator up to the painting studio at the top of the building, but opened it on the 2nd floor where the drawing studio is first, and pushed me out. There were a few bodyguards of not-Marcone in the hallway. Not-Marcone appeared behind them. I cursed Meredith for betraying me. Not-Marcone locked me in a tiny, windowless room by myself and warned that if I tried to escape he'd shoot Gregory. Madeline appeared out of the ceiling and told me that that was the lamest threat ever.

Then I woke up.