Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Leaving things we're uncertain about leads to alienation in real life.

It was the last semester of school. I'd been forced to befriend a girl from my class named Catherine, and it turned out we were suited for each other and we became the best of friends.
Move out day came, and I was determined to not let Meredith down like last time (though the time I really let Mer down was already the last semester of school, so this is silly.) Our apartment was arranged differently than it actually was. Instead of having rooms, it was a series of long hallways with furniture lining the sides. In one of the "rooms" (it was considered a separate room because it had a door at each end, but it was a hallway) there was the dining room table. On a chair beside it I found a plant that looked like my Swiss Chard, but it wasn't Juergen because the pot it was in was decorated with yellow ducks. Erin wasn't sure whose it was, so we left it for Meredith to deal with.
I grabbed my boxes and bags and took them out to my parents. We'd parked on Jefferson Square. Our long string of hallways was inside Combs, turns out. They were setting up a big fest tent to celebrate our graduation. I went back inside to use the restroom. The restroom was on the far end of the apartment. I passed through about 3 hallways til I got to the last room. It was a big grey room, with a shallow circular pit in the middle of the room, and in the pit was a giant chair. The pit was only there so that the chair could fit in such a small room. Atop the chair was Odin. He was just chilling. I said "How long have you been here?" and he said "All semester. Way to go, clueless. Bathroom's over there." The bathroom was bright red with a black and white zigzag-patterned floor. All of the fixtures were black. It was very similar to the Black Lodge in Twin Peaks. I finished as quickly as I could and went back out to Odin, and asked him why he had the Black Lodge in his bathroom. He didn't answer. I tweeted God and told him that Odin had installed the Black Lodge in our apartment.
I went back out to my family and friends in the fest tent on Jefferson Square. I grabbed a hamburger from the grilling area and went over to where my friends were coloring in pages from coloring books. Alice gave me a picture of a seahorse with tiger stripes. Meredith said that I'd never accept such a gift, that I'd never ride it because I'd be afraid of getting wet. I told her "Only if it's raining."
Then Cyrus shrieked and I woke up.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

There was something involving a Nook too.

I went to Target to check out Kindles, and I thought they were pretty cool. But then I was kidnapped, along with a bunch of other people. We were taken to this giant mansion and ordered to give a musical performance. No one was a musician but me. I deliberated over what song to play on the piano before deciding on "On The Rise". I didn't have any music, and needed one that I'd memorized.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Of course, murder is the only sensible way.

It was the last week of classes. Seacobeck was celebrating by serving food from Chipotle. I had to write a paper on how awesome this was or I'd fail all of my classes and face certain doom. But I had to work the day the paper was due. So the only solution, of course, was to poison a Chipotle burrito and give it to my professor. Meredith and Adrienne were all about helping me with this idea. I followed Meredith to the art building, where a few of her friends (who looked like my soon-to-be-coworkers) were working. She went off to hang with them. I asked where I could find some paint, because I wanted to put some in the burrito. They pointed me toward a shelf of acrylics but of course they were non-toxic. All I could find were some erasers. They looked enough like beans, and I figured that they'd probably at least choke somebody. Adrienne agreed and helped me unfold and repack the burrito. It looked smaller after we were done, not at all like a Chipotle burrito. I threw up my hands and declared the whole project a miserable failure. Erin appeared next to me, said something along the lines of "y'think?" and handed me a phone. I called my boss and told her about the scheduling conflict. She said something about how I didn't mention that I was still taking classes. I apologized profusely, and she changed the schedule so I didn't work during that class period.
I sat in Seacobeck with this sad-looking eraser burrito. I wanted to get a new one, but each student could only get one burrito, so I went hungry.