Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Die Toten Hosen

I was at a Die Toten Hosen concert with Meredith and Erin. The band was backed by an entire orchestra and they started mockingly singing songs from Oklahoma! We went over to look at the orchestra players, but they were visibly unhappy. We noticed they were playing until their hands bled, and they seemed to be shackled to their seats. No sooner had we noticed this then we were shackled to chairs. We had to write an essay on the concert. I was dismayed to notice that the outfit I'd worn became baggier and tattered and turned into the shirt I wore for my zombie costume. We finished our essays in 10 minutes, then I was given a keyboard, Mer was given a drum and Erin was given a guitar and we had to play. This was simultaneously awesome, I mean we were playing with Die Toten Hosen and I miraculously knew exactly what I was playing without music or anything, and distressing, we were kind of imprisoned, wearing bloody clothing, it seemed like a bad plan. We started discussing with the other orchestra players a method to escape when the band started playing Alles Aus Liebe and I got distracted singing along.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

What in the name of bees was he doing there?

There was some kind of party going on, and I'd made a mistake in giving Mel the guest bedroom because David Wong of Cracked.com and John Dies At The End had to stay in that room.

Friday, December 25, 2009

It's been a weird Christmas season.

Kind of materialistic, but the lack of Christmas cheer around here has pretty much made Christmas even more just about presents than usual.
So, everything I opened in my stocking and under the tree was a Christmas ornament. Madeline too. We were both pretty annoyed by this, I mean who wants a Christmas ornament after Christmas is over? So we went out shopping and traded all of this gifts we'd bought for ornaments. That'll show 'em.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

In a blizzard.

Paul Ballard was in our room in Bushnell interrogating someone about a murder, I don't remember who but I think it was Chase from House. Paul was interrogating him best he knows how: by being a complete asshole and throwing things. Erin yelled at Paul to stop before he broke all of our stuff. She got the information out of Chase by asking nice questions and promising him we could make snowmen the next day.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Not actually taking mail to Texas.

I was at the airport on my way to Texas. I handed the lady my boarding pass, she looked at it and frowned and told me to come with her. She took me to an information desk and asked another woman behind the counter something. Then she turned to me and said "Unfortunately we can't let you on this plane." I asked why, was there something wrong, did I need a new plane ticket? She told me it was because the plate mail I had in my carry-on was historically inaccurate.

Friday, December 11, 2009

I woke up so relieved.

I had a bunch of little dreams, but the only one I remember is sleeping until two, missing the beginning of my noon final by 2 hours.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

The Picasso Code

I downloaded Google Chrome. An error window popped up saying that my hardware couldn't handle Google Chrome and instructed me to go to my nearest computer supplier. I did, it looked like the Apple store but it wasn't. There was a meeting of some kind going on, a guy in a suit was introducing Google's new line of computers. They were about the size of a 4x6 card. None of them had mouses, all of them had little joysticks. Otherwise they looked like Macs with the apple logo replaced with the Google logo. I said I'd stick with firefox and walked out. Some old guy in scruffy clothing walked up to me outside the store and said "Google is trying to take over the world. We can't rely on modern technology." He handed me a cassette tape and instructed me to listen to it when I get home. I did. It told me to find prints of several paintings of Picasso, who predicted that Google would be the downfall of humanity and left clues in his paintings. The only prints in town were hanging in the office of the guy from the Google store. So I snuck in, and stole them all, removing them from their frames and putting them in a binder with plastic sheet covers. I refilled their frames with copies of the paintings I'd made myself, but with hidden obscene images because I'm mature. The Google guy noticed about a day later and showed up at my house, but I'd already deciphered the code and had gone to lunch with Alice and Jenn. I tried to convince them that I was serious, Google was trying to take over the world, but they didn't believe me, even with all of my proof.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

I'd love to see Dr. Parker get attacked by a tiger.

I got off a bus at a resort of some kind, looked kind of like a ski place. I saw a sign in the lobby of this cabin that said "To judge wind speed, count how many owls you see." I went upstairs and sat on my room's balcony, looking over the backyard, then over a forest to a mountain in the distance. I looked down and saw a bunch of little wind mills and those kite things, and they were all turning. So I looked around to see if I could see any owls. I found two in the trees surrounding the yard, and one on the roof. I regretted not charging my camera battery.
I went downstairs to find my mother in the gift shop. I wanted to tell her about the owls. She was buying a matching fleece and vest for herself. They were turquoise. I reminded her that I owned clothes exactly like those. She was like "So?" I looked around the shop some more. There was a second level that was an open balcony around the edge of the shop. It was all books and maps and manuals and stuff. I was standing in the clothing section on the bottom level, looking up at this floor. I noticed Dr. Parker, my linguistics professor, sitting hunched up in a corner underneath a black cloak. Out of nowhere came this random guy in a suit who was being attacked by a tiger. I took pictures of the fight that ensued between the man, Dr. Parker and the tiger. They all turned into line drawings.
Then I was next to a river, and we had to cross it before a group on the other side crossed it. Of course the only way to cross was to pile everyone onto a giant shark. So we did.
Then I went back to the room and played a study game version of Apples to Apples with Erin and Mary Katy.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Real life fears.

I was at a concert with my family. I think it was Flobots, but I have no idea. I wanted to buy a t-shirt, but everything was sold out in my size. On the bus ride home I discussed my probably horrible grades with my parents. After a huge argument, during which I brought up committing suicide, and after everyone had chilled down, I asked my mom if she'd checked her facebook messages. She checked the message I sent her, sighed and said "With grades this horrible, why would we help you visit Reece?"