Erin and I decided to visit Ballard. We get on a bus, and somehow we drive to Pittsburgh in 2 hours. We pass the Golden Gate Bridge on the way, which is on fire, and we also go through the tan and white city that is in a lot of my dreams. We finally reach the campus. Carnegie Melon's campus looks a lot like ours, except everything is HUGE, and all of the buildings are made of white marble, glass and metal. The gates we have to go through are about as tall as my dorm building. Right in front of us as we head through the gates is the sculpture that everyone hates, "Walking to the sky", except instead of just a pole it's twisted around like a roller coaster. Some of the mannequins have fallen over, and are hanging on by just a foot.
After a brief tour of campus, Ballard tells us about his latest plan to join CMU's hobo club. In order to qualify, he has to dress up like a hobo and convince some family to let him sleep in their house. His hobo name uses the KOL formula, he is Captain Ballard "Blinky" Stevenson, the Third. The family he chooses turn him away, his disguise is just too creepy, but Hobo Ballard wants to get into this club, so he decides to sneak in.
This part of the dream is very odd. It's sort of like a video game. We're all about three inches tall. We have to go through tunnels, and climb on platforms, and kill things by hitting them on the head with an umbrella. At one point we ride a boat, which then is catapulted into the sky, and we fly over their backyard and into another tunnel in another house.
Eventually we're caught and kicked out of the house, but Ballard uses "his father's influence" to get into the club anyway. We call Mr. Ballard, who is drinking with my father so they put us on speakerphone. Dad's far more interested in why I'm in Pittsburgh and how I got there. I tell him we took a bus, and he's like "How long did that take? When did you leave?" I answer him "Two hours." and he is all "WTF? You drove to Pittsburgh from Mary Wash?"
Then, anticlimactically, I wake up.