It was my family from Ashland, and some ritualized honorable execution type things. I was having my head chopped off. I didn't like that, so I ran away, through a house, dragging Mel with me. We got to a body of water, with a kayak, a speedboat and a raft with a paddle. We found that the raft was the fastest mode of transport, so we took that. Then we were in a swimming pool, paddling around with some kids I don't know, some blond goth chick and a dude, we were competing with them in a race. Whoever won the race would get fed. They got the raft, we got the kayak, but we managed to knock them off the raft and steal it. We won the race and went inside to eat, we were starving. A tall woman with a bun and a tight dress led us to the dining room. She started complaining about her children. There was a missionary there, who was discussing his very flexible faith, and how he was very interested in the battle of Hastings. The woman said she based her parenting style on the battle of Hastings. There were pictures up on the wall of her children, they were moving around and yelling at each other. Their images turned into the Bayeux Tapestry, and I was very confused.
I "woke up", looked at my clock and saw it was 2:22 AM. I got up to go to the bathroom, but saw a huge and unpleasant shadow crawl across the floor. I turned on my light to look for the spider, but didn't find it, so I went back to bed and had another dream about rappers stuck in a canoe in the middle of the ocean.
Then I woke up for real.