I need a license and my own car, then.

I was in a car with my sister and Ralph. We were in a traffic jam. Madeline was driving, of course, but she decided that she was hungry. We were at a complete standstill, so she got out of the car and went to the ihop on the side of the road, leaving me to take care of Ralph. I found that she'd dumped a lot of change in the back of her car, so I took some of that as payment. Then the car started to roll forwards, as the cars in front and in back of me started moving. I was like, someone should be driving this car. So I jumped up to the front seat. Ralph tried to, but I made him stay in the back. I was very uncomfortable, so I pulled the car off of the road, into the grass, and walked Ralph around a bit. I went back to the car after a while to find the car being stolen by two 15-year-old girls. I shooed them away. Then some guy came over and tried to steal the car, and I tried to stop him, but then I recognized him as one of Madeline's friends. He told me that Madeline didn't trust me with her car. I told him she was wise not to and let him drive us back to the ihop.

What.

So in the first half of this dream I was on a trip with Mom's side of the family, for a change, and the Ballards. We were at this old rented house. Andrew played video games for the entire trip. I found this photo album that was empty except for a black-and-white picture of a house, and a newspaper clipping with a picture of two old guys. They were sitting at a table, the bald guy in the foreground was laughing, and the guy behind him with a rectangular face and big ears was making a sour face.
On this trip I kept losing the key to my room, which prompted my uncle Johnny to make me a new one to keep. I found that it could open most doors in the house. I opened one to what I'd assumed was the boiler room but was a bare closet, with nothing but a pile of blankets on the floor. I examined them and found a really strange egg. It was bigger than a chicken egg, about the size of a coffee cup, and it was purple in color. Purple with swirls of other colors, yellow and blue and green. When we left the house the next day, I put the photo album and the egg in my bag, with the egg wrapped up in one of the blankets. Andrew left his laptop there so he'd stop playing video games.
I was fascinated with the picture of the house, because I could swear I'd seen it before. I kept trying to think of where I'd seen it. The newspaper article told me nothing except that the two guys were failed politicians of some sort. And very rich. I was in the car with Mom and Andrew, and we followed the other cars into this city. There was a pyramid-shaped electronic billboard atop the first skyscraper we passed. It had a woman's face talking about getting a job with this company, never specifying what the business was. But what was interesting was that every so often, for a millisecond, my name and a picture of the egg would flash on the screen. This happened three times before we passed the skyscraper and I could no longer see it. But it was pyramid shaped, and all four triangular sides displayed this same woman.
So I had to investigate this company. I kept trying to think of where I'd seen the house in the picture, because I was sure the two were related. I suddenly remembered that there had been a party there, not a party I'd been to but one I'd remembered pretty clearly. Those men had been there, and in fact that picture was of them at this party. Someone had told a joke about, president Eisenhower or something completely random, and that's why the bald guy was laughing. The other man's expression was not one of disapproval but one that never left his face, ever. Hence why he failed at politics.
We continued driving through the city. I noted the lack of conversation in the car but didn't do anything about it, as I was busy looking out the windows for this house. And then I saw it, right there in this mystery city, looking out of place like Carl's house in Up! I yelled at them to stop the car, they did. Our entire caravan stopped, but only the occupants of my car came with me into the building, Mom and Andrew. Andrew was still grumbling about his laptop, and Mom was confused and kind of ticked off.
Through the front door of this building was a tavern. Then through a door next to the bar was a courtyard, and that's where the party was taking place. I could hear the noises of it, and walked right through the tavern, ignoring the waitress who'd stopped to help us at the "wait to be seated" sign. Upon walking through I saw a great crowd of nicely-dressed people, and right in the middle was the table with the exact scene from the photograph. The guy was laughing and everything. I noted the lack of pollution in this courtyard as compared to the rest of the city. Someone next to me snapped a picture. I opened my book and noticed that while in my photograph they were wearing old-fashioned clothes out of the '50s I suppose, everything was very modern, people had cell phones, and I heard the name "Obama" from the table rather than the "Eisenhower" I had recalled. None of them had aged.
I ran up to talk to the man with the square face, and the party disappeared. The men from the photo were the only two left. They introduced themselves, but I unfortunately don't recall their names. For the purpose of this blog the bald one's name is Jones and square-face is Smith. I showed them the photograph, and Smith's face got even angrier. "Where did you find that?!" he said. I told him, and he told me in a very authoritative and angry way to follow him, so I did. Mom and Andrew joined me, still sort of creepily non-participative.
I followed Smith into the house, and he led me upstairs. There were more and more stairs, they went as high as the skyscrapers outside. Smith and Jones led me to a conference room. We sat down, Smith banged his fist on the table and demanded the egg. I produced it, and he grabbed it and cried "Do you know what this is?!" I said no, I just thought it was pretty interesting. Then the egg started hatching.
The bird inside resembled a pigeon, but it was colored like the egg, purple with flashes of other colors. It wandered around the table like birds do, looking around. Smith told me he'd been looking for such an egg for a long time. Jones informed me that this building belonged to the company I'd seen advertised. Then as we watched, the eggshell re-formed around the bird. Smite told me that this could happen several times a day, and the bird was different each time. The egg hatched a second time, and the same bird came out. I saw no difference, but was assured that it was stronger or something, because each evolution was better. I told them evolution didn't work that way, and they cited pokemon. Then Smith started yelling loudly about how I'd stolen this and the photo album and should be arrested, and then turned into a pigeon and wandered into a corner. Mom and Andrew and I just sat there confused.

I think we got the wrong house.

Ok, so. At my house. My parents were having some sort of party thing, I met a lot of new people. I'd had some argument with my father, but we'd made up, so he was being nice. Every room in our house seemed bigger. I'd invited Children of Time over to my house to watch videos, but mostly to give Liz her pillow. Titus and Meredith were of course in attendance, and over the course of the day we decided to take a trip to Titus' house (the representation of which is entirely outlandish and not at all what I imagine Titus' home being).
So we took a plane to Oregon. All of the stewardesses spoke Russian and no English. The guy next to me on the plane nattered on and on about recent acts of terrorism taken place on planes and it freaked us all out a bit. Then there was a bit of an acid sequence when we took out my video camera and had a dance party. We landed and drove over to a house that looked a lot like Judi & Harry's, but where their living room is was the kitchen, and the dining room was where the kitchen is. There were like 5 kids around, 2 pairs of parents, and the grandfather. The three of us ended up "assigned" to a kid or a pair of kids. I had to play hide-and-seek with the youngest two. When I tried to hide near where the second-youngest was hiding, she cried out "You can't hide there, you're far too big!" and went over to the door where the attic is. "Let me take some stuff out of here. "Some stuff" turned out to be her GIANT PET SNAKE. Seriously, as thick as Meredith, could wrap around our room in Randolph twice. It was orange, in case you were interested. And she was upset when it tried to devour her Jack Russel terrier. I was unafraid, and took out my camera thinking "Reece loves snakes, I should get a pic of this." But then the snake ate my camera.
We heard an unrelated fight scene below us. I went downstairs to find that the oldest child had punched Meredith and broken her jaw. All of the children were sent to their rooms. And locked in.
Then Titus, Meredith and I joined the adults in their conversation. The grandfather burst in with an old guy who looked like a church official and yelled at us to not eat the food, it's all been poisoned. SO, we didn't. I lurked around the kitchen anyway, and heard the two older men talking about how the recent terrorism attack and assassination attempts and the poisoned food were all part of someone's attempted coup on the Council of Wizards.

Finally I remembered my dream.

In the first dream, I was walking around campus at night with my ladies. We discovered a dance party going on in Woodard. Meredith and Erin went in, but I was not dressed for such an occasion and ran back to Bushnell, where I found no dresses suitable for the weather, only my summer dresses. Then I realized I hadn't turned the light on. When I did I found a dress, not a very pretty one, but a warmer one. So I put it on. I found Reece on the way to Great Hall and dragged him to the dance.
Next dream, I woke up in my bed at home. I exited my room and the house and found myself in a parking lot outside a rather creepy-looking building, all chrome and glass, and built like a modern art sculpture. Something out of science fiction. There was a pair of dudes and a chick, my age, lurking about outside this building. I asked them what it was. They said they didn't know, but we should break in and find out. We did, and found that it was some kind of futuristic laboratory where they performed horrible genetic experiments. We got caught by a guy I thought was one of the shadow people from John Dies At The End, and the facility reminded me of that as well, but he was just a creepy security guard with an astounding ability to remain unseen. He through a box at us. When it hit the floor it poofed and became a green mouse. A very malicious green mouse, I suppose, because we turned and ran. The mouse became a similarly vicious hare and chased us through a steel door. We were able to lock it out.
We snuck back out to the parking lot and saw two trucks. A truck containing very expensive equipment that was undoubtedly used for evil SCIENCE, and a truck that was filled with wine, with guys who looked like construction workers sampling it. My nameless partners in crime sent me out to get some wine, and I managed to convince the construction workers to give me some after a long talk about how I was stealing the truck anyway and beating one of them up. Then one of my new friends drove by in the expensive equipment truck, because I was just a distraction and they wanted to steal the other one.

Ask Amy

There was some kind of Ask Amy radio show, with an audience like Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. I was in the audience. It was a show where pre-picked people in the audience pretend to randomly ask questions. The couple with 10 kids next to me seemed like the sort who needed to ask Amy some questions, so I was like "Oh fantastic." Indeed, they went up to the stage to talk. The husband was horribly abusive to the children and his wife. I remember thinking "So why did he let you come talk about it publicly? This isn't the Jerry Springer show." Amy did nothing but ask her exactly the same question and point her towards a shelter.

Die Toten Hosen

I was at a Die Toten Hosen concert with Meredith and Erin. The band was backed by an entire orchestra and they started mockingly singing songs from Oklahoma! We went over to look at the orchestra players, but they were visibly unhappy. We noticed they were playing until their hands bled, and they seemed to be shackled to their seats. No sooner had we noticed this then we were shackled to chairs. We had to write an essay on the concert. I was dismayed to notice that the outfit I'd worn became baggier and tattered and turned into the shirt I wore for my zombie costume. We finished our essays in 10 minutes, then I was given a keyboard, Mer was given a drum and Erin was given a guitar and we had to play. This was simultaneously awesome, I mean we were playing with Die Toten Hosen and I miraculously knew exactly what I was playing without music or anything, and distressing, we were kind of imprisoned, wearing bloody clothing, it seemed like a bad plan. We started discussing with the other orchestra players a method to escape when the band started playing Alles Aus Liebe and I got distracted singing along.

What in the name of bees was he doing there?

There was some kind of party going on, and I'd made a mistake in giving Mel the guest bedroom because David Wong of Cracked.com and John Dies At The End had to stay in that room.